Evil Games. {Calum Hood fanfic}

-Shweta-

Hiii, thank you so much for adding this to your reading lists!!! Btw, I think there are gonna be only a few chapters and i'm done with this fanfic yay!!! BUT WHATEVER THANK YOU FOR 1K READS AND ILYSM 

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25th September, 2014. 8:50 AM

I woke up next to Calum, I was cuddled into his chest, his arms tightly wrapped around me, as if he was too scared that he'd lose me. To be honest, I wasn't sure about us. Actually, I wasn't sure about me. Or I just wasn't sure about anything. Calum is great, he's caring, and I know he loves me way too much. I love him a lot too, but I'm not sure. Something keeps me holding onto nothing. What if its a joke? What if he actually doesn't love me? What if I don't love him? What if all of this is just an illusion. For a fact, I know, I know my fear is irrational. He probably isn't even close to being a big lie. But, I'm sure about one thing and it's I'm not up for this. Relationships can be a hot mess and not to forget, Calum has been ignoring me for a month, only because of his made up fantasy about how I did not like it.

I know it wasn't his fault, entirely. Because I messed up with my made up fantasy too. I actually faked an entire relationship. And to be honest, if you asked me to choose Calum or Canada, I'd say Canada. Its simple, Canada will give me what I want. It will give me a better start for my career. It will give me a lot of things that Calum cannot. But, then, there's something, something inside me telling me that I cannot mess up this time, I cannot let Calum go. I wasn't sure of anything. I wasn't sure if I'm being myself or not. But one thing, that I was, am and will always be sure of, is my dad's dream and I couldn't let it go to waste because I fell in love with a guy in the process.

I felt Calum moving and assumed that he's awake, I turned my face to him and gave him a wide smile, his face was beautiful. It made me feel so many things all at once, it was unreal. I could sit there and adore him for hours, he was so beautiful, pure, and like, a work of art. "Good morning," I mumbled and kissed his forehead.

He yawned and smiled back, snuggling into my neck, "Good morning," he said in his sleepy voice.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked as I cuddled into chest more and more leaving absolutely no space between us.

"Yeah, very well actually," he looked at my face and smiled, absorbing all of me with his brown eyes, "you look good in my sweater," he finally said.

"Thank you, you look good with those marks on your neck, too," I replied moving my fingers on his neck.

"Wow, real smooth," He smirked.

I finally got up and walked out of his bed, stretching to let go of all my laziness, I glanced at him once more, and I felt really bad. He was so in love and he was so fearless. He was so fearless to fall, rise, live, die most of all, he was fearless to get hurt. He didn't mind it at all. He looked as if the world could do him no wrong. The way his eyes looked when he took a glance at me, or spoke to me, it was so beautiful. It was so wonderous. The way he acted like his entire world stopped whenever I'm around, it made me feel so special, so good. I was avoiding the fact too much, that I'm absolutely in love with Calum Hood. I'm avoiding the fact that I don't wanna go anywhere and just lay in his arms for days, weeks, forever. But, then, he deserved so much better than me. He deserved someone who was sure about him, who was as fearless as him to try it out. Who loved him as much as he loved her. Who would keep him happy as much he made her happy. He deserved someone better than me, and he always will.