What dreams may come (a Tom Hiddleston story)

"Mary do you know how embarrassing this is?"

"Sophia remember to eat your food, your sister has after all, paid dearly for it." Mary gives me a discreet push and I give a little twitch.
Fortunately, we can talk freely, no one here understands Danish. "Uhh, I got a bit distracted."
And yes it could easily be said that I was distracted, the way he moves those big hands and long fingers while he's talking is almost mesmerizing and he talks a lot, so much that he also forget to eat.
We are about to be finished eating and I think that even though this is the closest I come to him, it is still one of the best days of my life, but it has absolutely not changed my feelings.
Yes I still know it's crazy, but I feel a bit like a nerdy school girl who is in love with the school's nicest guy, every time I look at him, the butterflies flutter wildly and I feel a stab in the heart, knowing that it just not an option.
Then it's time for the awards to be handed out, first there is a woman who receives an award, she gives a super speech and everyone clap loud and long.
"God it is Elizabeth". I exclaim as I see Elizabeth Debicki enter the stage, she looks as always fantastic and very statuesk.
Mary looks at her as if she is trying to place her and exclaims. "Oh it's the one from The night manager right ?"
"Yes, she is the one who played Jed". I say laughing, I've always wondered what it must have felt like for her having to kiss Tom, not to talk about those sex scenes, personally I would have been dead, but okay it's just me.
Actually it's not even the kissing or sex scenes I envy the most, it is the way he looks at her, having Tom look at me like that just once, even if it was acting, and I could die happy.
Elizabeth calls Tom on stage on stage, Tom kisses her and accept the price, the two of them look perfect together, even though Elizabeth is even taller than Tom.
She holds a small spech, explaning that Tom is getting the award for his work with UNICEF, it is a beautiful speech and I can feel that I have a hard time keeping the tears back, especially when I see that Tom is struggling a bit with emotions.
"Tell me is Tom about to cry?" It is Mary who ask me, she looks skeptical.
I laugh a little, for me and all who know Tom just a little bit it's no big surprise, he is so cute when he gets all teary eyed. "Yes, and I would be more surprised if he didn't get emotional, he is quite sensitive."
And then it is Tom's turn to speak, he jokes that the only thing he has prepared his suit and says that people can be reassured, he is not known to be particularly sensitive, triggering an outburst of laughter from the audience.
And then he has talked himself warm, he talks about human dignity that we all are worth something and that it's about believing in yourself and know that you are worth something and that is what UNICEF does for children who would otherwise not have hope.
I just sit and stare with tears falling down my cheeks as he talks about his trip to Sudan and the experience with a 2 years old child but because of malnutrition seemed to be two months old and that the parents had not given the child a name because they thought it wouldn't live.
He speaks so touching and passionated, his voice just takes you in and I don't believe that there is anyone in the room who isn't affected, Tom has misty eyes and his voice breaks a few times.
Then the room erupts in applause and he leaves the scene, Mary looks at me, she also has misty eyes and say. "Okay I have to give it to you, he's very eloquent, it was quite a speech."
"Yeah, I could listen to him talk forever, he is so great." I can not help but smile and my heart feels like it swells, imagine if there were many more like him in the world?
Mary looks at me, she looks like someone who is thinking deeply, as she shakes her head slightly. "Wow, you actually love him don't you ? Like really love him ?"
I blush and nods, at least Mary can see now that it's not just nonsense, it somehow feels nice.
People start talking and there is music, this is when the party starts, Mary looks at me questioningly. "Should we walk over and congratulate him?"
"No, I'll just stay here, watching from afar, I really don't think I could handle it." I shake my head, I'd really like to, but I simply don't dare.
Mary looks at me. "You don't think you will regret it forever, if you don't at least go over and say hello?"
"Perhaps, most probable, but I simply don't dare, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to say anything and if I get something out it's surely something really stupid". I shake my head, no, I simply can't.
Mary gets up from her chair. "I'm going to slip out to the bathroom, then we can head to the bar afterwards."
I nod, just trying to study him without staring too much, he is talking with an elderly couple at his table, sometimes people come over and greet him and he greets everyone back, smiling kindly to them, talking with some of them.
Suddenly I see Mary, oh no she doesn't, right? Yes she does actually, she walks right over to Tom and talks to him, he smiles and shakes her hand.
Am I jealous of my best friend right now, oh yes pretty much, mostly jealous that she dare do it, I wish I had the guts.
They are talk ing together and suddenly Mary is pointing at me, Tom turns and looks directly at me, he sends me a huge smile, one of those that can make flowers grow and I'm pretty sure that my heart just stalled .
He raises his hand in a greeting and I don't have time to think about it before my hand automatically mirrors his movement, I am sure that my face is tomato red now and I then he turns around saying something to Mary.
"He told me to say hi." Mary says when she sits down on her chair again and looks at me.
I just stare at her, I still can't believe she just went over and talked to him. "Thank you, but how could you? What did you say to him? And what did he say?"
"Sweetie to me he's just some guy in movies, and I just congratulated him with the award and told him that it was a beautiful speech, he said thank you, he is really nice". She says.
Mary continues, as I just stare at her. "He asked where I was from with my accent and I told that I am from Denmark and here on vacation with my best friend and that you were a big fan of his work".
"Mary do you know how embarrassing this is? I seriously thought that my heart stopped beating when he smiled at me." I am happy that she said his work, it's like a little more acceptable.
Mary gets up and takes my hand. "Come let us go to the bar for a drink, maybe your courage rises with a little alcohol inside".
I follow her, but frankly I don't need anything else, he smiled at me, a smile that actually was intended for me and only me, it will keep me happy for months, maybe for the rest of my life.