What dreams may come (a Tom Hiddleston story)

"It meant everything"

We don't say anything on the way to his house, he is focused on getting the car through traffic and I focus on keeping track of my brain and my mind racing in every direction.
It may sound strange, but I'm a little back to the stage of not really being able to understand that I am sitting here beside him, so close, it's like I somehow have categorized what happened two weeks ago in a box of dreams and fantasies.
I can't help but glance at him, he looks really good, sporting a short beard just a bit more than stubbles and the hair, he has let it be longer on top than usual, there is curls in it and I bite my lip to resist the urge to run my hand through it.
He park in front of a bright two-storey house, it is large, but it is an ordinary house not some mansion, it looks nice and inviting.
He opens my door and offers me his hand and I take it, he smiles warmly at me, it's nice to see him smile like that again, he has the most beautiful smile.
We go inside and he pulls me into the kitchen and pulls out a chair for me, I sit down. "You want something? Tea or coffee, water?"
"A cup of tea would actually be nice." I reply, even if it's hot out today, a hot cup of tea in my hands would be soothing.
He nods and goes over to fill an electric kettle and find some mugs, I can see from the way his shoulders are tense that he is insecure and nervous, he is also running his hand through his hair until it is in wild disarray.
Finally he puts a cup in front of me and one in front of himself and sits down. "I'm sorry about what happened Sophia, truly sorry."
"So am I". I look down at my cup, what is he sorry about ? That he spent the night ? That he hurt me ? That he chose to leave ?
His long fingers is fiddling with the cup. "When I saw you today, I thought that I had to try to get you to change your mind, but after I heard what Mary had to say, then I think that maybe we misunderstood each other."
"I'm sorry she was so mad, she just wants to protect me, she's not exactly your biggest fan right now." I smile apologetically.
He just nods with a little smile. "I understand her well, from her point of view, I don't deserve better."
"But Sophia, Can I be allowed to say, what I actually would have said that morning? If you hadn't interrupted me." He looks at me questioningly.
I bite my lip, it probably can't cause me more pain, I can't be more wounded. "Yes of course".
"What I meant to say was, that I don't usually do such a thing, I tend not to just throw myself into intimate relationships, but I couldn't resist you, usually I'm quite old-fashioned and wait until I'm in a committed relationship" . He smiled slightly apologetic.
I couldn't help but smile sheepishly back, both because I usually was excatly like that to and because it was exactly what I expected of him. "Well we are two then".
"I didn't, therefore, know how I was going to ask where we stood, I'm not accustomed to asking a woman after sex, if she is interested in me beside that." He looks down at his cup.
It is all blurring out a bit, what is he saying? Did my uncertainty bite my own ass that morning? Was it me who ruined it all? "Are you saying that you actually wanted more?"
"Of course I did, I wouldn't have spent the night if I didn't wanted more." He says softly.
"And I probably should have made it clear no matter what, but it was a bit like a bucket of cold water, when you told me that it meant nothing, so I was probably a little defensive." He looks up slowly, oh shit, I don't think he does it on purpose right now, but that glance he sends me looks like a kicked puppy.
It's clear to me now, I was the one who was an idiot, it's my own fault that I have been so miserable, but I have also made him unhappy, it is very clear to me now.

* Tom POV *
There, now I've said it, I have exposed my heart, now she knows the truth and it's up to her whether she will heal me or break my heart completely.
She looks at me, I can't quite read her expression, now she gets up and I discover that I'm holding my breath, if she intends to leave, can I let it happen or will I try to stop her?
I don't find out, because she comes towards me and sits down on my lap with her face toward me, she looks up at me and I feel I'm being sucked into her dark eyes. "I'm sorry that I didn't let you talk, I panicked and tried to avoid getting hurt."
"So you .. You didn't mean it? That it didn't matter." My heart beats so hard and fast that I'm sure she can hear it.
She bites her lip and her mouth is slipping into a smile that fills me with warmth. "It meant everything."
I doesn't quite understand what she said, her small hands slipping around my neck and she pulls my face down to hers and kisses me warmly.
Her kiss feels great and when she sucks my lower lip into her hot mouth, I can't help but to moan low, fuck I told myself I would go slowly if she gave me a chance, it will be quite difficult, I already feel like ripping off her clothes and taking her right here on the kitchen table.
I open my mouth willingly for her as her tongue questioning runs along my lip and I know I'm sold, unless she asks me to stop, then there is no way back, I simply can not resist this amazing woman.