At lunch -- me, Connor, and David sat outside under the maple tree that grows in the backyard of the school.
This is our special hideout spot. We come to it when we want to get away from the world and just be nothing but ourselves, It's easy for me just to be Thalia when I'm around them. It's when I'm away from one of them when I start to stray.
"I have peanut butter and jelly," David says, holding up a plastic wrapped mess.
"That looks more like dog poop than food, my friend," I smile.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good though, The best food in the world," David says, unwrapping the mess and licking the side of the bread.
I laugh at him. David is such a dork. But thankfully, he's my dork. David and Connor are throwing Skittles at each other, trying to catch one in their mouths if they can. I just sit back and watch, tossing a grape in my mouth occasionally. David and Connor. The loves of my single life. Sometimes, I wish there was two of me. Two of me that could be with David and Connor at the same time. Sadly, I don't always get what i wish for.
"Thalia! Your turn," Connor says. When I look up at him, my face turns red again. David is looking from me to Connor. He knows we did something he doesn't know about. I hate that about David, He can figure out anything no matter what it is. Curse his amazing senses.
"You guys made out, didn't you?" he asks.
I look at Connor and he shakes his head. He doesn't want me to tell him yet. He wants me to lie. I can't lie to someone I love. I just can't. My emotions will show right through me.
I just slightly nod my head. David stares at me. I notice the bag of Skittles in his hand is temporarily being crushed in his sweaty palm. He's getting angry. I hate when he gets pissed. He acts just like I do. It's like a mirror or something. He likes to throw things. That's why I started packing up anything glass or hard that he can throw at me or Connor. For Connor's sake..I hope David aims at me first.
"David, it was just a kiss..." I start to say.
"Save it. I thought we all promised no affection towards each other? Huh? What happened to that? It's good to know you guys are cheating on me with each other. Two people I fucking love, Damn, I hate you guys," he says, dropping the melted Skittles and walking away from our tree.
Connor and I watch David throw a temper tantrum until he disappears behind a huge tree that leads to his house. Then Connor turns his deep green eyes to me, I look away from his gaze and he stands up, brushing grass off of his pants.
"Where are you going?" I ask. Please, don't leave me, I'm thinking. I don't want to be alone right now. I don't want to be alone ever.
"I shouldn't of kissed you, Thalia. It was a big mistake," he says, getting ready to run after David, I get up and grab his arm.
"You're saying I'm a mistake?" I ask.
"Thalia, don't do that. It's not the time to try to make me say something I don't mean. I don't want to have two people made at me," he says, slightly pulling away from my grasp.
I dig my nails into his skin.
"I could never be mad at you, Connor. Please, don't go. I need you so much," I say. My voice is breaking which means I'm about to cry. David is already mad at me....I don't need Connor to leave me, too.
"Thalia, David needs me right now. I don't have time for you. We need some space after this," he says jerking away from my hard grip.
"Space?" I repeat.
"Yes. Space, Thalia. You ever heard of it? I have to go comfort David," he says, staring at me in my eyes.
I have to look away again. I look down at my shoes, letting my hair fall around my face.
"But what about me?" I squeak.
Connor pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead.
"You'll be okay. We just need a break from this triangle. Sort some things out," Connor says.
My heart is burning right now. It feels like David and Connor just lit it to flames that will forever drop to my knees and fall out of my chest. Then comes ice. My chest tightens up at the thought of have space between me, Connor, and David. No. I can't do it. I can't be away from them. My heart won't allow it. But I've learned that if you love something with so much passion...you have to love it enough to let it make its own decisions. I hope Connor never forgets me during this space or the kiss we shared in his truck. I hope he doesn't forget that he loves me, too.
"How will I get home?" I ask. Connor laughs a little,
"Walk,"he says, planting one last kiss on my head before walking away.
Leaving me with my burning iced over heart.
