insta-groupchat; ogoc

seventy-nine;

Mickey;

I don't know why I went to Noelle to be honest, after all she'd done it was weird for me to confide in her for comfort, but I did.

I was feeling terrible, fat, ugly, and I sound like a problematic, selfish bitch, but I don't know how I'm going to handle having a kid at 20.

Yes I know people have had them much younger and survived, but I barely can handle myself, let alone being responsible for another life.

I haven't even mustered up the courage to tell my parents yet, what will they think of all of this.

They didn't exactly go for me ditching college to become a model, they both graduated from ivy leagues, becoming doctors and here I am 20 and pregnant with no stable career path.

I haven't been feeling the best about myself lately to sum it up for you and I guess it got to me way to much when everyone bashed on my recent eating habits.

Maybe I should just try not eating so much, fighting the cravings.

I sigh, my phone had been going off a ton, eventually I just shut it off, I needed time to myself to think.

And yes I turned to Noelle, as much as I hate her for what she did, before that she was my closet female friend, she knew things about me no one else did. Granted she used some of them against me out of spite and jealously but I needed someone who wasn't judging me and at the moment she was the only one not doing so.

I rubbed my now naked ring finger, yes I had taken off my engagement ring.

I was debating with myself over that too. Was I really ready to get married? Sure Nate is the love of my life and I'm baring his child but none of that means I'm truly ready to marry already.

I can't put our child at risk of watching their parents go through a divorce later in life just because Nate and I rushed into it because a baby was on the way and we felt we had to.

A loud banging on the front door shook me from my thoughts.

"Noelle open the fucking door!" A familiar voice shouted in anger.

My gaze darted from the door to Noelle.

She went over to the door and opened it.

"Nate what do you want--no she doesn't want to fucking see you assholes--because you've been treating her like shit." I continued to listen to their argument before I decided it was time for me to man up and face Nate.

I took a deep breath and went to the door.

"Noelle it's fine I want to talk to them." I said, hesitant she moved from the doorway.

"Mickey what the hell you scared the fuck out of me--come one we're going home." Nate demanded grabbing my arm to which I retorted with a sharp "No!" tugging my arm from his grip.

"You don't control me!" I shouted unexpectedly leaving Nate and Tez who was standing beside him in shock.

"You as well as everyone else has been making me feel like complete shit! Making me feel fat and ugly, how am I supposed to get married to someone who only makes me feel like crap!" I shout, it was as if all of my bottled up emotions where all spilling out in a fit of complete and utter rage.

"I sat and took it as a joke, but that shits really been hitting home lately. My feet are constantly hurting and swollen, my head is always pounding, and yes I'm 10 times hungrier than usual, my emotions are all over the place, so yes calling me fat and fatass is really getting to me." At this point tears where spilling down my cheeks and I hadn't even realized till Nate tried wiping them away and I only slapped his hand away.

"And another thing stop fucking babying me ok, I'm not some soiled brat who can't do things for herself, we're having a kid, so stop treating me like I am one!" My breathing sped and I start to feel a bit lit headed from all the yelling.

"Ok Mickey, let's sit you down, you look like you're about to pass out." I opened my mouth to protest but neither boy listened, which I guess was good.

"Everything's gonna be ok baby." Nate whispered pulling me close to him. "Stop, get--off." I weakly protested trying to push him away but he ignored my punches and aggressive grunts.

He just held me till I stopped fighting, Tez handed me water and I practically chugged it down in a second.

I breathed heavily, calming myself.

"Look Mickey, I'm sorry--we all are--we never meant to make you feel this way. We're all used to treating you a certain way and you reacting a certain way, we never thought it'd hit you like this." Nate spoke staring into my eyes.

"Yeah, you've always been so chill with it, don't hate us mouse." Tez spoke up making me smile a bit.

"I don't want you thinking you're in this alone ok, we're all here for you 100% no matter what."

I nodded, maybe I was just overreacting.

"Please, just say you still wanna marry me, I want us to be a family when this baby comes." As Nate spoke tears slipped from my eyes again, this time though they weren't in rage.

"Ok." I whispered laying my head on Nate's chest.

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I know you guys probably think she's being dramatic but remember she's pregnant you get a little emotional when you're preggo