Harmatia

Baldy.

ICT was like a chill lesson in my Ofsted reported “outstanding “high school; Students were strangely eager for ICT as they bragged to their jealous mates with the overexcited tone about having a lesson which the internet was the only resource that was frequently used.  ICT was basically “the bomb”. Anyone who had a focus day solely by having ICT lessons all day would bring in their headphones and proceed on a movie marathon. The entire day. Lucky Bastar…

The teachers turn a blind eye on these things and get on with their marking and work. See, they get these “things” done in lesson and they lecture us about time management and doing homework at home etc.

Such hypocrisy I say!

Anyways, I never complained as I was a big believer in energy conservation, or so I told my friends who thought I was what they call “lazy”.   

Lazy: unwilling to work or use energy

The difference between ‘lazy’ and I, is that I think of all the possible ways to conserve my energy for better use and also achieve the job at the same time. See, I get tired very easily but I wouldn’t say I was ‘unfit’ but rather say that I have a low endurance on due to my low motivation levels. I am not an athlete and never dreamed of pursuing to become one.

Anyways, I’m getting off topic here. ICT was like in college a free lesson which you either used to useless crap like surf Twitter or YouTube (not that I didn’t do that) or use your time wisely and catch up on unfinished work.

As you have guessed the latter most definitely wasn’t chosen and so we continued to demolish our previous memory of our educated lessons every time we entered ICT. It was like being brainwashed except that our brains were washed dry from any intellectual knowledge we may have consumed.

Lemon.

Still getting off topic, but as a reader you need an insight on these useless lessons which consumed nearly a third of my time in high school. Useless essays about Internet Safety and Data Protections Acts that was as invaluable to my life as algebra. Here is a scenario which I made up which were to happen if we needed these things in our daily human lives:

Shop Assistant:  Hello Oh so wonderful customer, how may be of your service?

Me: Hello… *looks at tag* Helen. I would like to purchase a MacBook Pro.

Shop Assistant: Good choice.

*At the Checkout*

Shop Assistant:  If one side of your laptop is labelled x and the other 3x+2.  What is the area?

Me:  What a coincidence! I spent 5 years learning this at school; it’s so handy in real life situations. The answer is 3x squared and 2x.

Shop Assistant: That’s correct. You may proceed. Next!

The End.

(Man, it was sooo hard thinking of this….even thinking about algebra makes my brain hurt. Mathematics may disagree with me but I agree to disagree)

So, one glorious ICT lesson, we were blessed with a substitute. Thank you God. Though, like most substitutes this substitute wasn’t doing here job.  Like all substitutes we’ve had her job supposedly consisted of either:

1)    Being so nervous that class will take advantage and scare her will they proceed to do crazy daredevil stunts on tables? Yup I know they are  cray.

2)    Sitting down or  making pathetic attempts to ‘calm’ the class with her meek and hushed voice.

3)    Being a SUPER cool substitute and make the lesson either fun or compromising with the class about what to do.

She was evil…and bald.

Impeccably  bald.

Like your-head-so-shiny-it can-reflect-light-rays bald.

I found her baldness curiously beautiful.  Though her eyes portrayed a seriously evil glint. But being the innocent person I was , I ignored it thinking it was the light in the room or I was maybe seeking to much into this.

I was wrong.

Now that I think about it may have been due to my lack of manners as I realised I was staring rather rudely at her beautifully carved head. So spherical and smooth.  My urge to touch was overwhelming but was overpowered by my urge to use the bathroom. So as any desperate student would have asked I raised my hand and she nodded her head for me to talk.

Me:  Can I …

Her:  - No.

I was surprised. Shocked. Speechless.

I simple ‘no’ would be normal. But she said it with immense hatred and attitude.

Yes I stared at her bald head but it was because I was fascinated.

No. I don’t have a fetish for bald women.

But damn she had a PERFECT head. I wondered if I was bald …would my head be as perfect. Probably not.

So when she looked at me like I was proverbial dirt at the bottom of her shoe. I felt like telling my friend what I had encountered via school email, which went something like this:

To: CrazyChicken23

I am angry.

We have a bald substitute

She isn’t very nice.

Well to me.

I wanted to say more about her baldness was really cool and that I wanted to be bald as well. It was hypnotizing to look at.

However, before I even had time to finish my email, I had heard a loud forced cough from behind my shoulder.

It was her. Baldy.