Around the spring of 2012, I was still grieving but I had to find myself & adjust to my new reality. At the time, I was looking for a job, getting help from my family & not knowing where my next five or ten dollars was coming from. The only thing that kept me sane was my love of sports, writing & as a result of the hard times, I created some of the deepest poems I have ever come up with.
Looking at some of them kind of scare me because I relive some of the emptiness I was feeling at the time. But I was determined to land on my feet somehow & prove to myself & my family that I would do it.
Possessed Part 1
What do I do
When I'm pissed off or stressed?
I write like I'm possessed
'Cause that's what I do best.
I feel like I'm being touched
Or blessed.
Feeling like I'm in a playoff game
In overtime; sudden death.
I write like I'm possessed
'Cause that's what I do best.
Feeling like I'm untouchable.
If I don't get this out,
I won't rest.
I write like I'm possessed
'Cause that's what I do best.
My heart is thumping in my chest.
Feeling great & I'm not dressed.
I write like I'm possessed
'Cause that's what I do best.
Possessed Part 2
I'll never stop writing
Because it feels like new.
So I had to do a sequel:
Possessed Part 2.
Have a lot more words to say
& it's more than a few.
I only write for me
& not the hating asses in a crew.
Words are coming at me fast.
Being thrown in a slew.
I have a smile on my face
Because I love what I do.
What will I do next?
I don't have a clue.
Running out of things to write
So I know that's my cue.
16 lines later,
Possessed Part 2 is over
& I'm through.
RAW
Starting fresh
Like a blade on a new saw.
I can only describe myself
As RAW.
Not RAW as in
Looking good or nice.
RAW as in I'm angry
& not thinking twice.
Feeling like I'm caught in a vise.
Or shooting craps
As I roll the dice.
This RAW feeling will die, I suppose.
It's hard to be a private person
When so much of you is exposed.
You feel like you are stripped
Of who you really are.
Because life will roll by faster
Than wheels on a car.
My old smile
Is the best thing I ever saw.
But until then….I will still be RAW.
Apologize
When I was at my lowest,
I did something I never do.
I put away my pen plus journal
& I neglected you.
I had things to say
But nothing came out right.
When you came close to me
I would push away & fight.
I tell you everything.
I tell you secrets no one knows.
Being completely without you
Makes my life blow.
As I write this down,
Tears are running from my eyes.
This is my poem to you, Journal.
I apologize.
YOU ARE READING
The Evolution
PoetryA book of poems that shows the evolving of a young woman. From a unsure shy under confident teenager to a very outspoken speak her mind unapologetic adult. But of course she is still a work in progress & is still looking to grow everyday of her life.
