Sadness and Fear

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                                   (this picture will show when it is from Angelina's point of view)

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                                   (this picture will show when it is from Angelina's point of view)

The faster I write the faster the world seems to go by. I've been writing for two hours but it seems like only ten minutes has passed by. I don't know why I think I can write songs, none of the turn out very good. One of them is about pizza. Yeah, I am pretty sure I won't win American Idol for that one. It is always rainy in this part of Maine at this time of year and as I look out the window, the rain has a soothing effect.

 I hear a car door slamming so I know my brother is home. I've been living with my brother and my dad for about five years. My mother left when I was twelve years old and it hasn't been easy. Dad has always had a drinking problem, it has gotten better since mom left but he still has bad days. He had a bad night just last week when he had a bad day of work and when he came home he started yelling at nobody. It was like he was yelling at mom again, but this time she wasn't there. I can hear my brother unlocking and opening the front door. Our house is fairly small, three bedrooms and one bathroom. Mornings are never fun. The kitchen is pretty basic with only the essentials and three chairs along a wooden slab that we call the table. The living room contains my grandmother's couch from when she passed away and a television. The couch is dad's living quarters when he's drunk. 

I hear a knock on my door so I respond with a quick come in. My brother walks in and closes the door behind him. I hear him walk over behind me to where I am sitting in a chair at my desk. He kisses me on the head and puts his arms around me from behind. 

"How was work?" I ask, wondering if he got screamed at again by the asshole of a manager. 

"I didn't get yelled at today, which was a plus. The customers were rude today, as always." My brother says leaning on my back. 

"How was school?" He asks. I sigh and shake my head. 

"The calculus teacher was out again. There are rumors going around that she got suspended or something. The English teacher was a legit jerk again, yelling at Carly for taking a drink of water while she was talking. Drama was the good part of my day though, we got to watch a movie today." I say telling the basics of my day. I don't include lunch where some kid shoved my tray into the trash and called me a word I won't say. I stand up and turn around and nuzzle into his shoulder as he puts his arms around me. He is 6' 4" and smells like pine. 

"Are you sure you can't take the day off tomorrow?" I ask again knowing I'll get the same answer.

"I'm sorry but you know the only days I get off are Christmas and Christmas Eve." He says the same damn excuse again. I sigh and pull away.

" I'm gonna go pick up the pizza. I'll be back." Brother tells me as he's walking out of my bedroom. I sit back down and look at what I have written. The first two words are sadness and fear. I guess that  makes sense. After all, we all feel that way at some point in our lives. Right now, it seems to be at its strongest. 

  

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⏰ Last updated: May 06, 2017 ⏰

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