unpredictable - h.s.

|| one ||

 I stare at the object in the palms of my hands hesitating whether or not if I should do it. Before bringing the object to my head, I thought about it. Would anyone miss me? Would anyone even notice my disappearance? Would they even care? Many questions left unanswered as I felt tears prick at the back of my eyes.

My life is a screwed up mess my family is broken. My dad cheated on my mom when I was just a toddler, my brother fucking hates me and abuses me and my mom yells at me for the most little mistake caused. I couldn’t take it anymore; I couldn’t live a life where I was faking perfection for all the people surrounding me. I constantly held my head high, covering up my tears and sorrow behind a loud laugh and a convincing fake big smile. I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not.

I slowly brought the gun to my head; about to pull the trigger before my door busted wide open, I dropped the gun in shock but also pulling the trigger as I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen.

The last thing that passed through my ears was a shrill scream before darkness instantly took over me.

“Is she going to be alright?” I hear my moms voice as I struggle to open my eyes, even the most little movement in my lower abdomen hurt me even more, I couldn’t even make a sound as I decide to just listen to the ongoing conversation.

“You’re lucky you rang the ambulance in time –she already lost a lot of blood, but she also could’ve lost more.” Another voice that was foreign to me says with a serious tone as I hear a sob.

“T–thank God.” I hear my mom’s voice choke out hoarsely as I use all my willingness to peer my eyes open, everything was a blur at first, but I slowly regained my sight and I let out a hoarse cough.

The guy that was standing next to my mom and her instantly snapped their heads towards my direction, “Claire!” She cried out as she instantly rushed to my side.

I didn’t react immediately as everything hurt like a bitch, but there was one thing that I needed right now, my best friend.

“Where’s H–Harry?” I coughed out as I felt the taste of blood at the back of my throat, me scrunching my eyebrows out of disgust, “He… he doesn’t know yet…” My mom confessed as I sigh. I really needed him right now, he was the only that understood what I was going through. The only person that I could talk too about my messed up feelings.

“Can I call him?” I asked weakly as my mom nodded, whipping out her phone keying in her passcode before handing it to me. I stared at the home screen background, which were my brother and I when he was twenty and I five years old. We were fifteen years apart, and we both shared different fathers.

I opened the phone app and dialed in Harry’s number as I brought the phone to my left ear, gnawing on the inner side of my cheeks I waited until he picked up.

“Hey Diana,” He greeted, he didn’t call my mom Mrs. Rochester which pretty much sums up on how close we both were.

“It’s… it’s Claire,” I squawked out before erupting in to a huge fit of coughs, my mom patted my on the back as I regained myself seconds after, “Are you okay?” He seemed pretty distant as I nodded, realizing he couldn’t see me I replied with a hesitant yes.

“Are you sure? Y–Kara shut the fuck up.” He yells to someone who was probably broke something from the sound of crashing I heard, “No, actually, not at all. I’m in the hospital, I t–tried again… I need you.” I choked out as I heard him mutter a string of curse words out.

“Which one?” I hear him say in a low voice, “The one near my mom’s office.” He replied back with a ‘be right there’ before hanging up abruptly. I sighed in to the phone even though he had hung up. I tossed the phone back to my mom as I tried to shift my body but the pain stopping me immediately as I let out a whimper of pain.