I'm back, but not for good

|1|

Cara's pov.

I was on my way back home from my therapy "house". My doctors thought it was a good idea for me to stay away from my real home and my school for a while. Why?

Because I tried committing suicide.

In the way I did it, I was sure I was going to get my freedom. But no. My mom had to come home from work early that day. She had to find me in time.

And here I am, okay and alive. But I don't want to be. Not even one bit of me wants to be here right now.

My car hits a speed bump on the road, and my mom gasps in shock.

"Well shit," she giggled. "Wasn't expecting that."

She looks at me like she's expecting me to laugh, but how could I? How could I after all I've been through?

I keep starring at the road ahead, but I can feel her looking at me.

"I left him, okay? I did it for you baby. But why didn't you tell me sooner?" There was hurt in her voice, I could tell she was being sincere.

"You think I was going to ruin you? I would rather it be me than you, mom." I reply.

"Honey," she kept one hand on the wheel and with the other she grabbed my hand. "Nothing would have happened if I had just divorced him."

She's right, but if I say she's right it'll ruin her.

My step dad raped me. He had always abused me, touched me inappropriately, but I knew if I told my mother than it would ruin her, because she was madly, deeply in love with the asshole.

My best friend died three months ago in a car crash. Her dad was driving, and her little brother Brandon (we all call him bee) was in the car too. Her dad and little brother lived, she was the only one to die. That broke me.

My ex boyfriend sent my nudes to the whole school last year. People still talk about it to this day.

My father also died. Cancer. Two years ago. That's what started all my anxiety and depression.

That's just some of the reasons why I tried to kill myself.

--

I have tons of friends. Close friends. I do have a boy best friend, and it used to be me him and my best friend who died. It was us three against the world.

I appreciate all my friends, and I hate knowing that don't know if I'm okay.

After I was admitted to the hospital my mother got rid of her phone. Everyone was asking to many questions for her. She told me she threw it in a lake.

My friends found out two days later I had tried to kill myself. All I know is that that don't know whether I'm alive or not, because my mother never answers her door when they went over.

So going back to school tomorrow is going to be a real shit show. For them, they probably hate me for now contacting them. It's not my fault the therapy home takes away our phones.

I haven't even turned mine on yet. I can't deal with 3,000,000 questions right now. And I definitely don't want anyone's attention or pity.

Wanna know what I want?

Death.

____\\

This book is a huge trigger warning, so read at your own risk. Also vote and comment. More chapters coming your way soon.

-C