I'm back, but not for good

|4|

Cara's pov

Hannah turns around but she doesn't do anything. Her eyes are glossy, and then she turns back around.

"Guys, I'm seeing her." Hannah blurts, and then my other friend Cassidy catches my attention.

"You aren't the only one," cass said, stepping close to me.

Brad doesn't look up from his phone. He just sighs, "Cara is dead."

I clear my throat to get my other friends attention. "If I'm dead, how am I standing here?"

Everyone looks up, and they all have teary-eyes, but the Also look pissed off. I wouldn't blame them. They thought I've been dead for a month.

Hannah, Cassidy, John, Maleah, and Jessica all come and give me a huge group hug. From the corner of my eye I see Brad, in awe, just staring at me.

When the released, the questions began.

"Cara, we thought you died."

"We all cried everyday for a whole month."

"Why did you lie?"

"What happened to you?"

"Are you okay?"

"Why didn't your mom answer the door for any of us?"

I just stood there blank. All I wanted to do was talk to Brad.

"Bradley. Brad. Talk to me. Look at me." Tears started falling out of my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away.

He looked pissed, and he wakes fast towards me and got in my face.

"You made me think you fucking died! This whole school thought you died! Your mom wouldn't open the door, you wouldn't answer anyone's calls, did you even try to kill your self or is that a lie? Were you just sad Ryllie is gone? You made our life's hell for this past month!" He screamed, catching the attention from everyone else. They all looked at me the same way Brad did. I knew it. They all hate me.

"My therapy house didn't allow cell phones." I quietly say, but loud enough for them to hear.

Brad rolls his eyes. "That only answers one out of one hundred questions."

"And I don't have time to answer all of them, okay? Your lucky I'm even still here!" I shout.

"Why did you leave for a month? Why did you fake try to kill your self? Tell the truth!" Brad yells back, and my eyes start watering again remembering the night I got that dreaded phone call.

Hannah, Cassidy, Maleah, John and Jessica look at me when sad/ pissed faces.

"The night," I shake my head and wipe my tears. "The night Ryllie died is the same night I tried to kill myself. I got her call, and I was already thinking about doing it, and I knew Ryllie would talk me out of it. She has before. But when it was her mom on the other line, I knew something bad had happened. Long story short her mother told me she didn't make it. So, I took all my emotions, wrote a suicide note, that my mom has somewhere, told my story on it, I had left it in her room, she was at work during this. I went to the bathroom, took my moms box of razors, sat on the bathroom floor, and I slit my wrists. I don't remember being found. I don't remember bleeding out. All I remember is waking up in my hospital bed, and I started crying. Not because I had a reality check and I was glad to be alive, I was crying because it didn't work. I still want to die just as much as that night. Anyway, after a couple days they decided to place me in this therapy home for a month. They took my phone. My mother didn't answer the door because she was going through a divorce. Remember that time I came to school crying brad? Remember when you were too busy talking to Lily? My step father raped me. That's why I was crying. I don't want you pity, I don't want your attention, I just needed someone. Some of you cared. None of you cared enough."

They were all in tears. The whole school just heard my speech, and honestly I'm glad they did. Maybe they will take something from it.

Brad just runs up and hugs me tightly, and he whispers, "I'm sorry. I didn't know,I feel awful. I love you and I'm sorry."

And that's the moment I knew, maybe if I had put myself out there more, They would have cared enough.

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