Eventide

Chapter 13. Challenged

Chapter 13

Challenged

(Mercy, by Duffy)

     I’d tossed and turned for hours before finally giving up on sleep.  Did I do the right thing?  Conflicted and second guessing myself, I waited for my head to win the argument so my heart would stop kicking and screaming.

     The sun rose to find me sitting on the front step with a cool mug of coffee cupped in my hands.  I’d had only a sip or two during the hours since I‘d poured it.

     My cell phone felt like a heavy temptation in my front pocket.  I couldn’t call my pack mates, of course, but I badly needed to talk to someone.  Mom was out on this as well because I knew she would disagree with my decision to cut Brogan out of my life.  With Annabel, there was just too much I couldn’t explain, too many secrets I wasn’t at liberty to tell her.  Emily was the only one I could really talk to about this.  She would understand and be on my side, but it didn’t feel right to bring this to her after the past few years of distance between us.

     One number on my speed dial especially beckoned to me, but I’d stopped my hand each time it flinched toward my phone.  I had explained to Brogan exactly why we couldn’t be together.  The last thing he needed was for me to make this any more difficult than necessary.  I would remove his number from my phone, just as soon as I found the courage to do so.

     A clean break, that’s what he needed.  

     What we both needed, I amended.  

     It was the right thing to do.

     The sound of a gunning engine cut through my brooding.  It was close, less than a mile away and closing the distance fast.  I should have noticed it much sooner, recognizing the sound of that particular truck.

     I pitched my cold coffee onto the sun-warmed grass as I stood to go inside.  My rear end should have been numb after so many hours on that step, probably had been.  Instead of pins and needles, only a light, short-lived tingle gave any evidence of numbness.  It was still strange, the way I missed even the little annoyances from my pre-transformation days.

     Curtains parted, I watched Brogan’s truck pull up out front.  He slammed the brake and bolted out of the cab before his truck had come to a complete stop, stomping his way up the path to my door.  Three hard knocks followed.

     “Leah, I know you’re in there,” he called.  “Open this door, or I‘ll open it for you.”

     Would he really?  The way he sounded, I thought he might.

     I yanked open the door.  “What do you want?”

     “We need to talk.”

     “We talked yesterday.  What more is there to say?”

     “Plenty.”  He planted his foot inside to keep me from shutting the door.  “How about you invite me in?”

     I briefly considered shoving him back out, but stepped aside.  I‘d have to deal with this sooner or later.

     “All right, what did I do to scare you off?”  He slammed my door shut behind him.  “I haven’t even asked you out on a date, yet.”

     “Date, you make that sound so casual.  Thing is, it wouldn‘t be casual.”  My eyes found the floor and stayed safely there.

     “Really?”

     He shouldn’t have sounded quite so pleased at that.

     “For me, I mean.  It wouldn’t be casual for me,” I stammered, face hot.  “I didn‘t mean it would be serious for you, of course, but what if that changed down the line?”