Don't Go

Chapter Fourteen;

“Tomorrow, we will go on a real date.”  Liam and I were standing in front of my house, and we were saying our byes.  Tonight is a night I will definitely remember.  He caressed my face, and his lips touched my forehead for a long second.  When he pulled away, I gave him a quick hug and before I knew it, he was pulling out of my driveway.  I sigh as my shoulders slump.  I pull myself together, and unlock the door to my house.  I slip in quietly, and lock the door behind me.  I walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water before going up to my room.  My parents were already in bed, of course.  I couldn’t complain.   I opened my bedroom door quickly, and closing myself inside.  I walked to my desk, and turned on the small lamp.  I jumped back when I looked down at my bed.

                I didn’t expect to find Brian sleeping on my side of the bed.  My heart sped up at the sight of Brian.  I slipped in to my night clothes, and got into bed on the other side.  It was good to see his face again.  In person, and not in my dreams anymore.  I touched his jaw, grazing my finger over his chin.  He was always so relaxed when he slept.  Like he didn’t have a care in the world.  I’ve always enjoyed watching him.  Not in a creepy way.  I watched his chest move as he would breathe.  I soon fell asleep to the faint sound of Brian’s heart beat.

I woke up the next morning with big brown eyes staring at me.  He smiled a little, and I couldn’t resist.  “You’re home early.” I whispered.

He took a deep breath before speaking, “We finished sooner than expected.”  I haven’t heard his voice in awhile, and the sound made my heart jump.  “I’m glad you’re here.” I scooted closer to him, leaning on his chest.  His heart started to pick up speed when I rested my head down.  He began to brush the air away from my face, and away from my neck.  He continued to brush his fingers through my hair as he spoke.  “We need to talk—”

                “Jimmy told me.”

He huffed.  “What exactly did he tell you?”

                “How you felt...about me.  Well, he didn’t exactly tell me.  I kind of…guessed.”

He sighed this time, not responding right away.  He pulled me closer, squeezing me for a second.  “I should have told you sooner.” He said softly.

I lay there for a second, trying to process my next move.  I lifted my head so I could look up at him.  “I wish you did.”  I swallowed hard.  He looked down at me, searching my eyes for something.  He placed his hand on my Jaw, rubbing his thumb over my cheek.  “How could you not know?” he asks.

I did my best to shrug a shoulder.  “I didn’t think it was possible.”

He smirks, “Everything is possible.”

He lifted my chin, brushing his lips across mine.  “I’m sorry it took so long.”

I placed a hand on the back of his neck, closing the small space between our lips.  Kissing Brian wasn’t really the move I had processed.  It was more of an act of need and want.  I wanted Brian, and I couldn’t deny that.  But I can’t.  I wasn’t able to pull away, either.  Despite the fact we both had morning breath, this is one of the best moments I could experience.

                We both shifted a little, and I was now lying beneath him.  My hands worked from his neck, to removing his jacket.  I quickly removed it and placed my hands on his chest.  I balled up his shirt into my fists, attempting to pull him closer.  His hands roamed my body, and settled on my hips.  I could barely breathe at this point.  I just couldn’t pull away.  Eventually he did, to catch his breath.  “Way better than I expected.” He spoke the words between breaths.

I smile.  “I’m going to go brush my teeth.”  I pushed him off of me, and walked to my bathroom.  I brushed my teeth quickly, and washed my face before returning to my room.  “Your tooth brush is still in my bathroom.” I told him as I came back to my room.  He jumped up, and ran to the bathroom.  When Brian was out of sight, I collapsed on my bed.  This is time to think and process the events of the past five minutes.  Did I really just kiss Brian?  Did I really enjoy kissing Brian?  Do I want to kiss him again?  The answer to all those questions, I already know.  Yes.  But then something else slipped in my mind.  Liam.  We aren’t official or anything, but I’m sure that’s what dinner is for tonight.  Should I cancel?  No, I won’t.  I need to talk to him.  Maybe he’ll give me time to figure this out.  This is the last thing I needed.  I don’t even know if Brian wants a relationship.  One; He’s older than I am, and I don’t know how well my parents would take that.  Two; He’s famous and he’s on tour more than half the year.  I would never get to see him.  Thinking about all of this is making my chest hurt.

                The sound of rain pounds on the roof, and the sky is really grey today.  It’s a day to stay in bed, and not care about anything.  I get back under the blanket, and wait for Brian’s return.  I shut my mind off in time for Brian coming back into the room.  He got into bed beside me, and he opens his arms for me.  I cuddled close, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.  “So what time did you get home last night?” he asked.

I don’t even remember that.  “I don’t know.  A little after twelve maybe.”

                “You were at Liam’s party.” He stated

I looked up at him.  “And?”

He chuckled, and I put my head back down.  “So defensive.”  I wasn’t ready to tell Brian what happened between Liam and me.  I don’t even know what’s going on between the two of us.  I don’t even know what going to happen with Brian.  He goes on tour in a few weeks, and I don’t think I would wait for him.  I wouldn’t want to.  And thinking about that, makes me a little uneasy.  I pushed the thought to the back of my head and hugged myself to him.  I don’t want him to go.

                He brushed the hair from my face, and my neck once again.  “Are you okay—”

                “Shhh.”  I cut him off and closed my eyes.  He continued to brush his long fingers through my hair.  It was soothing.  “What does this mean?” I ask.

He stops for a second, and begins again.  “You mean us?”

I nod.

I felt him shrug, “Is this what you want?”

I nod again, and look up, “Is it what you want?”

He answers by giving me a small kiss.  I fell like this is a dream, and I’m going to wake up any second.  It would be one dream I couldn’t let go.  I would pursue it.  It is what I want.  I think…

                “Can I think about it?” I blurt, and immediately regret it.

Pain strikes his face, and then a small smile forms.  “Of course.”  He lifts my chin, and gives me another kiss.  It makes me want more, but I have to resist temptation.  Everything about Brian is tempting.  Before I put my head back down on his chest, I kissed him again, but a bit longer this time.  It could be the last one I ever get.

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It only took 14 chapters guise, haha.  You guys might get pissed at me for what I'm going to do with the next chapter...