I was a child to which both parents I did not grew up with. My mom had another family and I never knew my father. At first it was all good. I always wondered how it felt to have a father. Someone who will tell the boys who are bothering you to stay away. Someone who will call you, "Princess" and someone who will be there to love you despite of everything that you might do wrong.
I first learned the feeling of jealousy when I was in kindergarten where my classmates were fetch by their fathers or mothers. I dont have both. Instead I go home by myself. I walk a mile on to go home. I always had a star stamp but I had no one to show it off to. I graduated kindergarten with a lot of medals but it was my aunt who went to the stage with me. When I reached elementary, I attended a private school during my first grade. I often get free rides in a friend's school bus, perks of having rich friends. The rest of my elementary life was filled with transferring school to school. I also graduated with flying colors. Then came the most toxic time of my life, highschool. Some may describe it as fun, but during the duration of my highschool life there was no fun.
My highschool life was filled of bullying. I was bullied because I was different. I was not like them. I was the kid who prefers to study than go hang out with them. I was fat-shamed and I was the kid who experienced being locked inside a cr, called names, shamed in front of the whole school. Yes I experienced them in front of the whole school. During my second year of highschool I had a lot of absences, I rather stay at home face my computer and watch animes. I was awake through the night and asleep through the morning.
It didn't matter all I could think of was I was always alone. 3rd year came and it was the first time I committed suicide. Grabbed a blade and cut myself but my aunt found me out, rushed to the nearest hospital. 4th year came and that was my second attempt, tried drinking lysol, came out with ulcer. This time I was not able to get any awards, what's the use? I have no one.
Then came my 18th birthday, I asked my mom who father was. All she said was, "wag mo na alamin, patay na yun" but I was never satisfied with that. I asked her again and again. Till the day she answered me with "hindi ko alam, hindi ko siya kilala. I was raped."
And that was how my life turned. This is Libra and this is my story.
