Being The Badboy's

**Chapter 9**

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I cant believe i kissed Logan..

I dont know how long ive been laying here on my bed staring at the spinnining fan and getting dizzy.

Thoughts swarmed in my head,and i was beggining to get a bad headache!

Logan finally gave up pounding on the bathroom door for me to open up..

He gave up and left with a few curse words,then i locked myself in my room for however long ive been in here.

Im not gonna tell a lie..i want to kiss Logan,i want to BE with Logan!

Im not going to hold a grudge against him for the rest of my life..

But why waste my time on wanting him if he doesnt feel the same way about me?

"ughh",i groaned cluthching the side of my head,my headache was getting worse!

I dragged my hands over my damp face as i let out a long sigh..

Why did this have to be so confusing and difficult??

I knew this was going to be hard since i had feelings for Logan..but i dont know,i feel like we should be to gether but does he feel the same way or am i just having all these girl hormone feelings!?

"ughhh!"

I sat up on my bed and through the closest thing that was near me as hard as i could against the wall..

That thing happened to be my iphone that i ha got less than 6 months ago!

Ughh..fuck my life!

I hate hormones,i hate myself,and i hate Logan!

I wabbily got up as i clutche my head and walked over to my door.

My knees wer slightly shaking as i walked towards the stairs,this was definately not a normal migrane!

"aghh",i made a weird noise as i grabbed the staircase and wall for support!

Whats wrong!

"you okay",I heard Logan say from behind me!

He sounded concerned..but why would he?!

"f-fine",i said as i slightly bent over.

"Bullshit!You look anything but fine,here let me at least help y-

"NO!Dont come amywhere near me!",i snapped!

I looked up at him as his jaw clenched and his eyes darkened.

Last time he got close to me he kissed me!Twice!So i have a legit reason for not wanting his sexy self near me!

ughh.....did i really just say sexy!

I turned about to continue walking down the stairs when Logan's voice startles me stopping me.

"OKAY JULIA!All im trying to be is fucking nice to you,but all you do in return is be a fuckinf little bitch!I know ive been not kind to you but at least i try to make it up but you either run away or just brush me off!"

I flinched at hus choixe of words!

He called me a bitch!

"W-what if Logan,sometimes peopledont want your freaking pity!I dont need you to say sorry!I just need you and your jerk self to stay the HELL away from me!"

I returned him his mouthfull of words that he deserved!

He seemed shocked at first but he just turned his head as he swallowed,and my eyes couldnt help but notice how attractive his addam apple looked bobbing up and down-

"okay Julia,your a selfish bitch anyways stay the hell out of my way",Logan said as he bumped my shoulder as he walked past me making me stumble but i caught myself..

I felt like ive been stabbed in the chest..why did Logan have to be that way one minute he's nice,one minute he's flirty,then next minute he's coldhearted!

I felt like curling up in a ball and crying..his words really hurt me!

I heard  the sound of the door closing..and i knew i was alone i could do anything.

I returned back to my room with a sharp blade in hand.

I walked into my bathroom my eyes blurred in tears.

I thought back to the letter i just wrote and left on Logan's bed:

Dear coldhearted bitch,

i dont know if your now reading this..i think you are!But i want to let you know that what im about to do is not because i want to but because i had no other choice to!You have made my life living hell and i will no longer tolerate it!I always thought i likes you and we would be the perfect friend forever but..

dont

believe

fairytales.

                 -signed,

                        selfish bitch

I smiled to myself as i traced the point of the blade on my wrist.

I couldnt decipher if i did or didnt love the feeling of the sharpness and biting effect it had on me!

A tear fell as i dug the point deeper into my skin ripping it open.

"AHHGGGHHH-"i quickly clamped my hand over my mouth!I loved this burst of energy!

At first it was just a stream of red blood but like my mother used to tell me streams lead to oceans,and thats exactly what it did!

Blood dripped from my wrist and i tilted my head as i stared at it..d-did i really just do that?!

It felt so relieving as if i had no other way to describe my feeling but to do this!

I quickly cut 2 more lines it was a x with and extra line in the middle!

It was beautiful!I stared at it as a tear dropped onto it making it sting!

I like this!

_____________________________________

Aghhhh.....i am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for the long wait! :( i hope yall can find a space in your heart to forgive me!

I cried when writing this chap..so can yall like plzz comment if yall did and like this if yall enjoyed this chap! ;) plzzzzzz!