Secrets

Four

I wake up to a massive crash in the kitchen, I lift my body out of bed and feel completely sick, my head pounds and my stomach chirns making me feel like I need to vomit.

I open my curtains and my eyes flinch at the light, I then go and open the bedroom door I look on the coffee table near the TV and see how much alcohol that I had consumed. I feel so upset with myself, I dont want to be living my life how I used to, tears form in my eyes but I look up and see Harry "Good morning" He says with a smile on his face his dimples showing, it fades soon after he's seen the tears running down my face and he runs over and holds me, his comfort makes me cry more, so he leads me towards the couch and sits me down as he holds me in his arms. "Whats wrong?" he questions "I-I just I feel like a failure" I say before more tears roll down my face, "why, you've done nothing wrong, everyone has too much to drink every once in a while" he says patting my head gently "thats just it Harry, I had too much to drink, I cant, I cant, I just, I feel like I'm going to spiral downwards again." I say before huddling into him and clenching his side with my hand, he doesnt say anymore he just holds me until I stop crying.

I look up at Harry  "why are you here? Why do you care about me so much to sit with me whilst I cry?" I ask him "I dont know, I just care about you, you just seem like a nice girl and you came over last night so I took you back home and put you to bed before you got hurt" he pauses for a bit whilst I just look at him and wonder why such a good looking guy could even give a shit about me "Millie, how did your brother die?" he questions me out of no where "um.. well he.. he was" I start to tear up having flashbacks of the night that josh passed "we were in london on a family trip... he was shot" Harrys face forrows "I'm sorry" he says and then gives me a quick hug "I better go, mil" He gets up frantically and heads out. I'm confused by him leaving so suddenly, I was just warming up to him.

I decide just to leave it and get ready for the day. I have a shower, brush my teeth and apply a small amount of makeup and decide to go get a coffee from the starbucks down the street.

I walk down the street and see Harry walking towards me "hey harry" I call out to him, he just looks away and pushes past the crowd before pushing past me, we make brief eye contact but he just runs off, I decide to just brush it off and ignore it, I finally reach starbucks and I order a latte before sitting down and reading a magazine someone left on the table. I open it to a random page and notice somebody has been writing all over it

I'm sorry...

I cant be around you anymore

I did this to you

I cant do this

I'm sorry..

I promise to fix you

I think of who this person could be, and who they were writing it too. I drink my coffee looking at the page over and over again. It almost brings tears to my eyes, why would someone write this and not give any explanation to the actual person. I decide to put the magazine in my bag as I finish off my coffee.

I start walking home thinking about when I saw harry half an hour ago, I wonder why he walked passed me like that, not even giving recongition that I was there. I feel humiliated that I let him in, and all of a sudden he's out.

I get home and crash on the couch, I turn on the TV and watch some trashy reality show. I always love watching these because it makes me feel better about myself, not needing to be as fake as them or have the problems they have. I decide I'm hungry and I look at the clock, its already 3 in the afternoon, I decide I should make some lunch, before I can even get up I hear my phone ringing from in my bag. I quickly run to answer it and see an unknown number