Scarred for Life (MBLAQ)

Prologue

Yoon Nayoung longed to take the clock she called her life and wind it back to the start, so that she could live through the first five years of her life again. She longed to remember how to smile again, to be nice to people again, because she missed those five years a lot. However, among all of the things she longed to have again, she had desperately longed for that day to have never happened.

Because after they were wiped off the face of the earth, it seemed as if the whole world changed, or was replaced with one in which every human being despised her.

Well actually, they should be changed to he, because he was the only one that had actually left; her mother had just changed drastically.

When her father died of a brain tumor, at first she was outraged since she noticed that her mother didn’t seem to give a damn about it. It was only a little while later that she had found out that her mother had already been married to a drug lord, two whole years after her dad’s diagnosis… when Nayoung was only three years old.

She was very shocked that her mother would throw her whole life off a cliff for some bastard, because even at a young age, she knew person who had a PhD in Languages and a master’s in Mathematics would do such a thing. Then, when Nayoung, her mother and the drug lord had moved from Japan to Korea, she realized that her mother didn’t have a life in the first place.

Being a drug addict, fairly educated with two bachelor degrees, a cheater, drunkard and an abusive parent who was married to a drug lord that was almost as bad as her, Nayoung had noted, was a lethal combination of a life. And this is what little Nayoung had thought for a while when she was beaten by the two older people every single day until she turned seven.

At that time of her life, Nayoung had taken the initiative to look for a teacher that could teach her how to defend herself, and she succeeded, finding a 7th Dan black belt in Karate-Do that was able to teach her every single day. As harsh and insane as this would be, the feeling of not being weak and being able to leave the hellhole she called her home made her slip out of her bedroom window and bolt to the classes. In short, she was desperate, and she believed that anyone who was experiencing what she had been going through would be too.

Fortunately, the next few times her ‘parents’ had tried to use her as the human sandbag she had been for two years straight, they were given a hell of a surprise that she wasn’t the only one limping around with several cuts and bruises. Unfortunately, they got more and more violent until the night Nayoung had found out that the four years of pain combined wouldn’t have compared to the amount of pain she had to endure when she was nine. For some reason, they had been especially high and drunk that time, because they then had had the need to 'change things a bit', and they somehow ended up finding a fire poker.

That was the first time, Yoon Nayoung had been ‘written’ on, meaning that the fire poker was the pencil and her skin was the paper. And because they had actually enjoyed Nayoung writhing in pain, they had done that from then on, adorning her body with them.

The things they would write were words that would be enough to shatter a nine-year old's whole being, let alone their heart. If they ran out of words to write, they would repeat some of the words until they thought of new ones. And because of this, these words would keep flashing in her mind, along with her ‘parents’ drunken and high, cackling as they repeated the words aloud like a mantra.

Because of the constant mental and physical abuse, she had changed almost completely. She had lost all of her friends from primary school and she no longer talked to anyone, shocking those around her. That obviously would have been their reaction, because they would be confused with how a confident girl who could brighten anyone's day with her smile had suddenly disappeared, and a cold and recluse ‘person’ had taken her place.

When she turned 11, almost every part of her was dead. Her skin turned numb, her bones got thicker and her soul was basically sucked out of her. She was called an ice princess from primary school to high school and some brave, stupid souls, would comment on the possibility of her using drugs because of how she would always be staring off into nothingness and would always wear long sleeve shirts and jeans, even if hot days were present. Really, the clothing was to hide her scars, because over the years, basically everywhere on her body was scarred with the put-downs, and even if it didn’t hurt when she got new scars, the meanings of the words would hurt her; it would always take her back to how this all had started and how she wanted her father to be alive and well again.

She had a pen ship for silence, unless someone was mouthing off at her or she was defending those who were bullied, because that was the only part that survived from her old self. The one that her normal family had developed…

The one that left along with her father.

Unfortunately, not only did she have the majority of the student body on her back, but she had the teachers too; she would always be picked on by teachers because of how she was with her attitude towards absolutely everything.

The same stupid souls also had a knack of putting labels on Nayoung, saying that 'her kind of people' would never get anywhere in life. However, she would push herself to study, half wanting to prove that not all people of 'her kind' didn't get anywhere in life. The other half was simply so she could get an education, so it would make things easier if she got a job.

Keyword: If. 

Doing this gave her an overall score that was above average, though she would refuse to participate in many P.E lessons because of her still unhealed wounds, though. Eventually, each day would be worse than before both at school and at 'home'. She was still being written on and people at school were still plotting ways to get her to break.

However, the cycle of abuse at home, and torture at school, had been changed when an orange-headed male stepped foot into the school. Most people who experience a sudden change in their lives would say that their lives had turned ‘upside-down’. For Nayoung, though, that wasn’t the case. She thought of her life to be turned in some other direction that probably wouldn't even be marked on a compass when he had suddenly appeared, because it was already turned upside down when her real father died, so she didn’t know which direction it turned then.

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The scars I have, they’re like memories.

Engraving the pain I experienced physically and also spiritually, they’re constant reminders of how there was no-one to care about me all those years that I had barely survived. And I know that they won't ever leave me alone, because they've been a part of me ever since my father was dead and gone, and when all of these scars began to appear.

In short, I, Yoon Nayoung, have been scarred for life.