The Bitch and the Bastard

The News

     Warning: Might cause triggers

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   I woke up with a groan and flung the blankets off of me. Swinging my door open, I trudged down the stairs. I found mom and Justin's mom in the kitchen. Mom looks like utter shit. She's been crying. "Um?"

 "Honey, come here." Marissa got out of her seat and came over to hug me.

 "What's going on?" I asked.

 "Come sit." My mom patted the seat next to her. I did as she said. "Baby. You're dad was in a car accident last night."

 "So, he's up in bed resting? Did he break anything?"

 She couldn't look me in the eye. "He's gone."

 I froze for a minute before looking over at Marissa to see if she was joking. "I-". I didn't know what to say. "Oh my God..."

 Marissa hugged me again, but this time from behind. "I know, sweetie."

 "How is this all going to effect us? Are we going to have to move? Cut back? -"

 "No." Mom replied. "We have a lot of money saved up in the bank, and with my job, we should be okay. Nothing will have to change."

 I nodded. Mom hugged me.

 "So. What happened? To dad."

 I heard my mom take a breath before letting go. Her and Marissa looked at each other before she looked away. "Well." Marissa started.

 "It's okay." Mom patted Marissa's hand before turning to me. "Your father and I couldn't find you in the house last night. So he went out to look for you while I stayed here in case you came back home." She paused. "He got hit by a drunk driver."

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   I laid down on my bed. I wasn't sure what to feel, what to think. It was all my fault. I killed my father. I kept imagining him in the car, dead. I don't know how he died. His head could've been chopped off. A piece of glass could've stabbed him. Anything. And it's all my fault. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. I'm numb. Blank. I heard a knock on my door,  my mom came in after I didn't answer. She sat down on my bed. "This isn't your fault."

 "Bullshit."

 "This could've happened at any time. He could've been going to the store to get milk-"

 "But it happened when he went out to look for me. This is my fault mom."

 "Sweetheart, -"

 "No. Just. Please leave."

 She got up and started walking out, but paused at the doorway. "Just. Keep thinking about the zoo Thursday. That'll cheer you up." She gave a small smile before shutting the door behind her.

   My fault. All. My. Fault.