Its Going To Be Ok

It started with a good dream

The day that my entire universe crashed around me, very surprising, started with a really nice dream.
And the dream went something like this:
We were sitting on a open area of grass in front of a lake. Mom was laughing at something that I said, and her smile was an absolute God sent. Seeing her smile, really smile, was rare now days. She stood and turned suddenly, smoothing out the wrinkles of her expensive looking dress. She started talking and pointing at the night sky. I couldn't understand what she was saying so I moved closer.
"What?"
I said, leaning in to her.
She repeated her words, looking straight at me. But I heard nothing, it was like she was expecting me to read her lips.
"Mom, I can't hear you. Speak louder!"
She sighed, rolled her eyes, and pulled me in for a hug. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her strong shoulders, and tuck my face in her neck. The thick locks of brown hair tickled my nose as she held my tighter.
"Mom, what did you want to say?"
I whispered in her ear.
Beep!
She pushed me back slightly, only holding me at arm's length.
She, again, pointed to the night sky.
"I said, silly, that if we are every apart, to just look up. Look at a star, and know that I'll be looking at the same one."
I heard her voice, for the first time in my dream. Strong and clear.
That's when I took the time to look up.
And my, God.
Never have I seen so many stars.
More white light then darkness, and the Moon was hanging at the edge of my vision.
I have only seen a few things so beautiful.
With tears prickling my eyes, I chose to laugh.
"Mom, there's so many! How do you know if we'll be looking at the same one? It's​ not logical!"
She turned back to me, cupping my face with her hands.
Beep!
"Mother's love always outweighs logic, honey. You should know that."
And thinking back now, she was right.
Of course.
The woman always came up with ways to baffle me. Like when she would call me or text me, right when I needed her help. Or how she would know what advice to give me, whether about a friend or haircut. What ice cream to buy me or which kids to let me play with on the playground when I was younger. Sometimes it felt supernatural, like she had spidy senses that would say: "Alert! Alert! Daughter in trouble! Send help immediately!"
She always knew what to do.
Anyway, sorry to get all touchy feely there.
But in my dream I remember seeing the stars, with Mom by my side and thinking:Everything is perfect.

That was right before I woke up.
Beep!
Y

eah, life sucks.
I forced my eyes open, sat up, and angrily smashed my hand down on the alarm clock. With a huff I fell back into the mattress, wondering if an extra hour of sleep was worth missing the bus. I finally decided to get up, realizing that if I missed the bus I would have to walk to school or wake up mom to drive me. And both were not an option. Especially not waking mom up since she needed the sleep. I sat up in bed for the second time that day and observed the sun light filtering through the half drawn curtains. It gave the whole room a golden glowing tint, and it didn't help the fact my room was already painted bright yellow.(I had decided to paint it yellow when I was ten on pure impulse.) I finally stopped procrastinating and got out from under the warmth of the blanket. I sucked in my breath as my feet hit the freezing floor, and quickly trotted over to the bedroom door. Peeking into the hallway, I checked for any signs of life.
The hallway was empty.
Good, so mom wasn't awake yet.
Sneaking past mom's room to get to the stairwell, I walked to the kitchen. After taking a couple of eggs from the fridge, and making a mental note to get more milk, I got a pan from the cabinets with as little noise as possible. When I had finished cracking the eggs into the pan, I turned on the built-in radio we had in the kitchen. Fiddling with the nobs to find the right station, I finally settled on one that was playing I'll Take You There by Staple Singers. I leaned back on the counter and let my mind wonder.
Mom is going the doctor today, finally. Had to practically beg her to go. Its been a couple of months when I first noticed she was acting different. Don't know why she waited this long to go. Well, yes I do. She's to busy trying to pay for my iron pills. Couldn't find the time to go, she's been working so hard. Damn my anemia. It seems like everyone is this house is sick.
The sizzling of the eggs brought me back, and I quickly flipped them.
I have to go to Joe's too. I have the afternoon schedule. That's 4 to 6. Moms taking the day off to go to the appointment so she should be at home when I get back. Maybe they'll have given her the diagnosis by then. Now we'll finally know what's wrong.
I took the pan of the stove.
What if it's something​ serious?
And there is was again, that little voice.
What if it's something that we can't treat?
I shook my head and turned my attention back to the eggs. I don't want to think about that right now.