Sad stories

Part 10

Nobody cares. So why would anybody care about me? I'm invisible to people until-- oh look! They need me! It's pathetic and sad. I don't even tell my friends how I feel because I know they would careless and get judged.

"Oh people are having it worse than you!"

"We have our own problems."

And then they wonder why I even went back to cutting. It's so sad.

So so sad.

My friend ran away because she was being abused "emotionally"

Being emotionally abused means that: "any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, initialization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth."

She's not like that at all. Does she have a low-esteem? No. Is she depressed? No. Is she suicidal? Yeah. But is she anxious? No, she isn't.

Does she take or ask if I'm alright? No she doesn't. It's a shame how I'm her best friend and she thinks I'm fine. Funny how I'm always asking if she's alright and shit but she never asks me though. Now does she? No she doesn't because she only cares for herself and her adopted family.

She doesn't give two rats shits about me.

You know why?? I keep it all to myself that's why.

"Oh, if you something to talk about just come to me okay?"

Come to you? How can I even trust you, if I don't even trust my own self?

Nobody notices and nobody cares. The only thing that people notice is my mistakes.

Do people even deserve the right to be called my family to be called my friends? Some people just don't understand that I'm depressed and shit and shouldn't be trusted to be home alone with sleeping pills or anything I can use to kill myself with.

If people only understood this. But nobody would. Nobody cares, everyboy makes it obvious that they don't care.

Yeah. 'I'm fine.'

I'm fine=Feeling I'm Nothing to Everyone.

I just somebody to see my suffering and end it already. Arena is the only thing that us keeping me sane at the moment. So is anime.

I don't care if my crush likes me or not. He doesn't like me and it shows. The hell? Why can't they just see that nobody will like me?

"Nobody will love you if you're unattractive."

Yeah, nobody loves me. Even if they did say that, nobody would notice and nobody would care either. Just leave me alone and let me die in my sleep. So what do you want me to do? Fake a smile and tell you 'I'm fine'? No, wanna know why? It doesn't work that way that's why. Never has and never will.

Why do you think I'm anti-social? I don't like having to deal with drama.

Sometimes I wonder what's the meaning of life.

Maybe to suffer all those tragic things that happen to us?

Life's hard, if you say it's "easy" then you're doing it all wrong.

I'm starting to lose interest in living.

All I want to do is sleep, watch anime, and play video games. Might as well.

I'm fat? I'm getting fat? I might as well start starving myself. Thanks for making me feel "great" about myself my dear, dear, loving family. To think that I'll get support about my body and rais my self=esteem. If you ever find a suicide letter, don't worry about, I said goodbye to those who I know will cry and care about me. If you didn't get one, then you'll know that I either hate you or know that I know that you don't care about me. So don't sweat it. If you did "actually love me" then you should've tried harder to express it. You didn't try hard enough.

Maybe if you maybe looked closer, every "I'm not hungry", I'm starving myself.

To think I would be sexually touched at the age of 10 and been sexually harassed at age of 13-10. Four fucking times.

It's funny.

You don't care but when something dramatic happens, that's when you wanna start caring. It's a fucking shame and you should be ashame of yourself.

If you're a bully or somebody who used to bully me, I hope you feel happy in playing a hateful part in my life since I downright hate you.

Wanna know fun fact?

It takes 37 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, but only 3 to pull the damned trigger.

Thanks for calling me stupid mom, thanks for calling a slob and thanks for comparing me with somebody that I hate the most. My dad, yet you know that I hate my own father.

Thanks mom and dad for making me feel great about myself.

Thanks for making empty promises to me.