Well many know.
I'm sparked.
But so many questions arise in my processor.
For example:
Will I be a good carrier?
Will I survive giving birth?
Will the sparkling actually like me?
Can I keep the sparklings without putting it in harm's way?
Will I be able to continue my duties with a sparkling?
Would I have to retire?
What if my sparkling doesn't survive?
What if we both don't survive?
What if the sparkling ends up hating me?
What can I teach my sparkling?
Would my sparkling ever leave me?
How can I educate my sparkling of the good and bad of the world if I'm too busy?
Will decepticons try to capture my sparkling?
What are the necessities to take care of a sparkling?
Is a crib with a camera necessary?
That isn't even HALF of the questions I have. But a few of the questions strike fear into me.
Will I survive giving birth?
And
What if we both don't survive?
The origin of those questions is because....
It's almost a family tradition.
My carrier didn't survive giving birth to me.
Both of my carriers were mech (male). So the remaining mech -my sire- raised me by himself. He was hardly ever around me. So I learned to talk. Walk. Even transform by myself. There was a case with his brother aka my uncle. His sparkmate AND sparkling didn't survive
I'm ranting.
The point is. What if I don't survive? Or the sparkling?
It usually runs in the family. So...
Am I ready? I'm not sure. I know many will say not to be afraid, that everything will be okay.
I try not to be afraid but with what happened recently with the death of a sparkling....
I'm more scared then ever.
I might e over reacting but I'm not completely sure.
