Dean: "People believe in Santa Claus. How come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?"
Sam: "Because you're a bad person."
Sam:"What kind of a house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!"
John to Sam about what happened to his college fund:"Spent it on ammo."
Dean:"I think I'll pass on the seventy two virgins, thanks. I'm not that into prude chicks anyway."
Dean:"My name is Dean Winchester. I 'm an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone."
Dean:"MySpace, what the hell is that? Seriously, is that like, some sort of porn site?"
Sam:"This is the dumbest thing you've ever done."
Dean:"I don't know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa?"
Dean:"Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?"
Sam:"Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating."
Sam to Dean:"What do you wanna do, poke her with a stick? Dude! You're not gonna poke her with a stick!"
Sam:"We're not working for the Mandroid!"
Dean:"I think I learned a valuable lesson: Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Year's, or you might get filleted by a hooker from God".
Sam as described by Dean:"Dean, this is a very serious investigation. We don't have any time for any of your blah blah blah blah."
Frat boy talking about his alien abduction:"They made me slow dance.
Dean:"What about a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by moonlight don't you understand. I mean werewolves are badass, we haven't seen one since we were kids."
Dean: "What's a P.A.?"
Sam: "I think it's kind of like a slave."
Sam:"You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie because they think it sucks. Because, I mean, it kinda does."
Dean: "Save room for dessert, Tiny. Hey, I wanted to ask you, because I couldn't help but notice you are two tons of fun. Just curious, is it like a thyroid problem? Or is that just some deep-seated self esteem issue? Because you know, they're just doughnuts. They're not love."
Dean:"I'm Batman!"
Dean:"Snow White? I saw that movie. The porn version anyway. There was this wicked Stepmother. Woo, she was wicked."
Dean:"I'm gonna go stop the Big Bad Wolf. Which is the weirdest thing I've ever said."
Dean to Sam:"Dude, could you be more gay? Don't answer that."
talking about Bela:
Dean:"Can I shoot her?"
Sam:"Not in public."
Bela:"You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex."
Dean:"Don't objectify me."
Sam:"How do you sleep at night??
Bela:"On silk sheets, rolling naked in money."
Dixon:"Can you think of a worse hell?"
Dean:"Well, there's Hell."
Dean:"You fudgin' touch me again, I'll fudgin' kill ya!
Sam and Dean (in unison): "Yeah right. Nice guess. It wasn't guess. Right, you're a mind reader. Cut it out Sam. Sam! You think you're being funny but you're being really, really childish. Sam Winchester wears make-up. Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. Sam Winchesters keeps a ruler by the bed and every morning when he wakes up ... OK, enough!"
Dean:"Sammy, wherever you are, mom is a babe. I'm going to hell ... again.
Dean:"That is exactly why our lives suck. I mean,come on,we hunt monsters!What the hell? I mean,normal people,they see a monster,and they run.But not us,no,no,no,we search out things that want to kill us. Or eat us!You know who does that? Crazy people! We are insane!You know, and then there's the bad diner food and then the skeevy motel rooms and then the truck-stop waitress with the bizarre rash.I mean,who wants this life,Sam? Seriously? Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day? I don't think so! I mean,I drive too fast. And I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again, and I sing along.I'm annoying,I know that.And you,you're gassy!You eat half a burrito,and you get toxic! I mean,you know what?You can forget it.Stay away from me Sam,OK? Because I am done with it.I'm done with the monsters and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn apocalypse. I'm out. I'm done. Quit."
Dean:"Zombie-ghost orgy, huh? Well, that's it. I'm torching everybody."
Dean:"On Thursdays, we're teddy bear doctors."
Sam: "She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy."
Dean:"Who was? The plumber,hmmm? A little snaking the pipes??
Sam:"Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again."
Bobby:"You stupid, stupid son of a bitch. Well,boo-hoo!I am so sorry your feelings are hurt,princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good, make you an apple pie,maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!"
Dean:"Oh yeah, life as an angel condom. That's real fun. I think I'll pass, thanks."
Dean to Castiel:"You mean to tell me you've never been up there doing a little cloud-seeding?"
Dean to Castiel:"There are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: you are not gonna die a virgin, not on my watch."
Dean to Cas:"You were wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?"
Castiel to Raphael:"Today, you're my little bitch."
Castiel:"This isn't funny, Dean. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!
Dean to himself in "The End":"She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it."
Dean:"Check it out. Four score and seven years ago ... I had a funny hat."
