Squidward walks up to your house slowly while you're eating your favorite snack and watching your favorite tv show: Diners, Drive in's and Dives, starring Guy Fieri. He opens the back door of your home with a hatchet. While you're sitting on your rocking chair, Squidward sneaks up behind you. You feel hot breath on the back of your neck. He grabs your shoulders and whispers something you will never forget. "Krakatoa." You turn around and see the drop-dead gorgeous squid. You instantly dropped the bowl of sewage pipes you were eating. "HOLY SHIITE ITS SQUIDWARD TUBERCULOSIS!!" You screamed with a smile on your face. Squidward sat on the ground next to you, and looked deep into your eyes, almost into your soul. He got on one knee. "(Y/N) will you marry me?" You were shell shocked. The squid of your dreams proposed to you!! How romantic!!! You smiled with your broken teeth and responded with: "YES BABY I WILL GO DOWN TO BIKINI BOTTOM WITH YOU 😩😩💦💦🍑🍑👅!" Squidward grabbed your hand with his moist, sweaty tentacle. "Let's go to Bikini Bottom (Y/N)."
You guys were going to Bikini Bottom. You couldn't believe it. Y'all ran to the Specific Ocean very very fast, almost as quickly as Sanic the Hepatitis. Squidward looked at you with a worried expression. "Are you sure you can survive underwater (y/n)?" "OoooF COURSE I CAN BBY GGUUGUGUUGUU!!!11!!" You took squidwards clammy tentacle and jumped in the water. Y'all had been underwater for 30 seconds now. 'Oh shoot,' you thought. You were drowning. It was too late. "(Y/n) are y-you okay?" Squidward looked at your lifeless body. "SAINTE GUACAMOLE MON BEBE EST MORT!!!!" Squidward screamed. You were dead. You never got to marry him. You never even kissed. This is truly a love story more iconic than Romeo and Juliet.
---THE END---
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Squidward X Reader | Instant Love <3
FanfictionPapi Squidward strikes again somehow, when he hasn't even struck in the first place.
