Shadows

Have you ever wanted to kill someone?

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Let me ask that again. Have you ever wanted to  kill someone?

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Maybe your brother was a bit too annoying, maybe some girl at school who you hate went a little too far, but have you ever seriously planned anyones death?

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No. You have probably never wanted to actually kill someone. Or at least I hope not. You would never want to kill someone in real life, make someone go away and never come back.

Trust me, the worst thing that could happen to you is not your own death. It's knowing that everyone you've ever loved is dead, and you're responsible. That it was your hands that strangled your mother, and your voice that told the shadows to tear, and rip, and bite your father until he was barely even alive, then tear, and rip, and bite some more. And that even though it wasn't you, it wasn't your brain that ordered your hand to gesture in the movements that chopped your brother in two, your entire race blames you, hates you, and you will never get a second chance. Or even a first chance.

That feeling is like your dying, dying in agony every second, and you know you should be dying every second, because it was your fault. And I would do anything, anything, to turn back time, to bring them back, but I can't. Because that's what happened to me, and trust me, you are lucky, you should count your lucky stars, because you know what? You will never go through this. And I feel glad of that. Because this is not something you would wish on your worst enemy.