Why did she do it?

The week after

Since Sophia's gone, the days last longer. Walking from class to class. It's exhausting without having a friend. I don't have many friends. Neither do the nerds. But I don't understand why she did it. Why did she kill herself? We had a perfect friendship. And now she's gone. I've never had a purpose in life. My classmates cried the day they heard. I got crazy. They had to do one more stupid thing and I would kill them. They didn't even like Sophia. Everyone hated her. But  Sophia killed me too, because she left me. Memories and thoughts are going through my mind. Even I thought that suicide is an option. I've been desperate since the day I'd heard the news. There was another girl who belonged to our friendship bond. But she moved, cause her dad had an opportunity to work for a greedy boss, but he gets a lot of money with that job. I'm happy for Madison. Yes that's what her name is. But I've almost forgotten to introduce myself. I'm Sheryl. But either way, the last time I saw Sophia, we had so much fun. She had a crush on someone, who I unfortunate liked too. But I didn't say that to her and now I won't be able to say that anymore cause she's buried in her grave. There were a few people at the funeral. Sad, isn't it? I counted the people, there were 40 people. People call that a lot, but at my grand mothers funeral, there were at least more than 150 people. But I can't compare that with Sophia. She didn't have a lot of family or friends. the bell rings. I have to walk to the 3rd floor. I have mathematics. I did the project with Sophia. Now I have to finish it on my own. I have the feeling that the teacher doesn't like me. He is such an old guy, who smells like coffee. It's not that bad, cause I don't like him either. And neither do my classmates. I have the feeling that nobody actually likes him. It sounds dramatic and selfish but I feel so alone on this world, like I've got no one. I think I'm gonna make other friends here at school, but that will be hard cause many people don't like me. They consider me as an outsider, a nerd, someone who's desperate for friends now. Friends is what I need right now. My family didn't matter that much, they didn't even come to the funeral, cause they were too busy. While I'm sitting in this lesson, a bunch of kids walk to me. They've been questioning me this whole week and I can't take it anymore. Cause all they have is pity and all they say is: 'I imagine what you're going through', but they can't! But I saw this as a convenient moment too. Now I can ask whether I can sit with them during the break. I asked that and they only things they did was nodding. But that means a yes so I'm happy enough now. The bell rings, I can go and sit with my hopefully new friends. The break went so fast. Melanie and I talked so much during the break. We talked about boys and make-up. I think that we'll be friends soon. But we're sitting in history, one of the most boring subjects at school. They may find it an interesting subject, but I don't like it and I don't like the teacher either. It's a blond woman, who is very tall and she can't match her clothes. She smells like smoke, cause she smokes a lot. I thinks she has a drank problem too. There was a rumor that she stood in front of the class, while she was stoned. But I thought it was a joke, so I didn't care. The lesson's about the middle ages, with all those diseases and knights. I think the lesson's still boring. Not because of the teacher, but because I'm sitting alone for the second time today. The bad thing is that I sit in front of the teacher. My table is against hers. Too bad for me that there are sitting two jerks behind me. Their names are Justin and Mac. They talk the whole lesson, about fat asses and girls. I don't pay attention to the lesson, my mind takes me somewhere else. I begin to daydream, about a perfect life. With many friends and family and a house with a swimming pool. My family isn't poor, but we're not rich either. But then, the teacher said something, what made me happy. We were allowed to go home earlier. I run out of the classroom. When I was out of the classroom, I walked to my locker. I grabbed all my stuff, went to my bike and cycled home. I park my bike in the basement. What a coincidence. I'm home alone, again. I open the door and grab all of the letters and newspapers. I switch on the television and put the letters and newspapers on the table. There was one letter, with my name written on it. I decide to open it, nervous and curious what it could be. I see a familiar name on it. It's from Sophia. The letter starts with: Dear Sheryl. I feel that I have to cry. I cry out loud. I begin to read. What will this letter relieve about her dead?

~ to be continued.