Why did she do it?

Confused

I feel pain everywhere. Physically and mentally. I considered to throw myself against a truck. Perhaps it's better to be gone. Just like Sophia. But then I realized that I want to do many things before I die. But it still feels like nobody cares about me. I cycle home and guess what, I'm home alone, again. I park my bike in the storage and I walk to the door. I open the door and make a sandwich for myself. I walk upstairs and grab my laptop. I decide to watch YouTube. That makes me a little bit better and happier. I search for vines. I think that I see a funny one. I've never laughed so hard. It made me feel better. Too bad for me that I have to do my homework. We have mathematics twice a week. It's so boring. But I can't make homework without music. I decide to listen to Chris Brown. His songs always make me feel better. I've always listened to his music. He has so much talent, but now we're going on with the homework. I have to make an assignment about Pythagoras. It's kind of hard when I have to do it on paper, cause we usually use a computer for those assignments. But you learn more if you write and if you do your homework on paper, according to the Teacher. I've already told you that I don't like him, right? But regardless of that, I've finished this assignment in less that 20 minutes. I think I've reached a personal record. But now moving on to the homework for German. That's boring too. Almost every subject is boring, except for art and P.E. I like those subjects, because you don't have to do much. German takes a bit longer than mathematics. I have to make 10 assignments. I finished this homework in an hour. It's 6 o'clock. My mother comes home, but she doesn't have to cook much, cause we're eating the same as yesterday. Spaghetti with baguette. Delicious, isn't it? The diner was done at a half past 6, right on time, cause my father came home at 6:25. I ate a lot and we talked a lot, about my parents' work and about my school. But then, it got boring, so I walked upstairs and watched old pictures. I look at the photos of the elementary school. I was so cute when I was little. I never realized that I really played with that doll, which we could bring home with us. It was a kind of group-doll. Everyone could have it one day, so it stayed at your place for one night. I think that every school has that. But when I looked to these pictures, I found something. It was a bracelet, which belongs to Sophia. I can barely remember that she gave it to me, until I saw the sticker on it. 27/09/15. I grabbed my old diaries and searched for that day. A smile came upon my face. Now I remember. It was a beautiful day and we went to the mall. We bought clothes and we ate ice-cream. I had chocolate and she had strawberry. If I get the chance to go back to that moment, I will certain do it. But now I have to sleep, cause I am very tired. I brushed my teeth, changed and went to bed. I hope I dream about a perfect life. I fell asleep at 11:30

'WUAAAA'. It's half past 4. I had a terrible nightmare. I dreamed that Sophia still existed and that we committed suicide together. I went downstairs to drink some water. I decide to watch something. I switch on the television and I see that I can watch Spongebob. Not even 10 minutes later, I fell asleep at the couch. I woke up at 7 o'clock. This time it was all black. I didn't have a dream. I walk to the shower. I took a shower for more than 10 minutes, what is a kind of inappropriate, cause we all shower less than 5 minute . But I'm bad and I break the rules. But my parents don't tolerate that, so I had to make my own breakfast. It didn't take me longer than 5 minutes to make it and eat it. Then I went to the storage and grabbed my bike to cycle to school. I'm right on time. And there's enough space in the bicycle storage. I parked my bike and walked to the entrance of the school. I walked into school and went to my locker to put my coat in it. I walk to the B-wing, where all my classmates already wait. I decide to talk to Melanie. She smiled at me when I walked to her. I asked her whether we're going to sit next each other with this lesson, and she nodded. I hope we will be good friends soon. We have biology now. We're talking about sexuality. It's not that I'm childish, but I always have to laugh and I don't know why. But I'm certain not the only one. I assure you, the 'bad boys' always laugh too. But the time goes so fast, because this subject is kind of interesting. But the bell rings and I avoid Brandon, just because I'm so freakishly mad at him, but I'm scared too. Scared that he's going to hurt me again. But avoiding didn't work, cause he walked towards me. I grabbed my phone. I'm pretending like I'm doing something. But then Brandon grabbed my phone and puts it in his pocket. 'If you don't do something, nothing bad will overcome you', he said. I got red. Confused, because he didn't say it in a way of threatening, but in a way of kindness. Then I slammed myself and told myself that I don't fall for that. I walk towards Melanie, who stands with the popular kids. Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm. First, I didn't recognize him, but then I looked better. It was an old friend of mine, his name is Tyler. We were best friends at elementary school. He hugged me and said that he has pity and that she deserves better. And that's true, she does deserve better. Wait, she deserved better. Tyler asked me whether I'd sit with him during the break. I agreed. He said that he wants to explain something. I'm curious what that would be. But first I have to get through this stupid lesson, geography.

~ To be continued