Every Cloud

Chapter Seven

Fuzzy.

That's the best way to describe my mind for the next few hours. I drained the last of the colourless vodka around half an hour ago, the rank liquid scorching the back of my throat as if I'd accidentally necked a bottle of nail polish remover. I can see why Aunt Beth drowns her sorrows this way. There's something magical about the way my mind skips and dances restlessly over my thoughts, as if tiny bubbles are skittering around in my head. Nothing matters anymore. Not the fact that I'm missing out on the party, not the fact I'm drowning in school work, not even Mum anymore. Nothing.

I get up, giggling to myself at the way the carpet seems to spin under me. Plug in my speaker and turn on my music, knowing somewhere in my dazed mind that Aunt Beth will be in a deep sleep under the influence of her wine by now, so the noise doesn't really matter. As if my body is enchanted I start spinning, whirling my hair round, all the while smiling to myself, breathless. By the time my playlist has ended, I'm sprawled on my back on top of my bed, smiling up to the ceiling. Contempt.

I wake up shivering, my arms pebbled with goosebumps. Running my tongue along my teeth, I grimace. I completely forgot to brush them last night - if it's even morning yet, that is. How gross. I swing myself off of my bed to go and retrieve my phone and check the time. The faint light still pouring out of my speaker guides me to the floor besides my desk, where my phone is lying under the empty vodka bottle. As I bend down to pick it up, my forehead starts to throb gently. Great.

My phone screen cuts through the darkness of my room, the light blaring painfully into my eyes. 3:24am. I sit back down on my bed, still shivering. I tug my fleecy dressing gown over my shoulders, immediately wrapping it around myself. This time I climb under my covers, a little warmer as I let my head sink onto my pillow. My head swims, making me feel disorientated and sick. I pad over to the window, where I didn't even bother pulling the blind closed earlier, and gaze out into the black smudge of the night. What about a little bit of fresh sea air to try and cure my nausea?

I shove my feet into my discarded trainers, still in my jeans and dressing gown, a combination I would never risk stepping out of the house in, unless, of course, it's 3am. I peer round Aunt Beth's door on my way out, seeing her tucked up in bed with her fluffy eye-mask pulled snugly over her eyes, and I slip down the stairs silently. I make my exit in the usual way, pocketing the door key. I trail down to the pavement, twisting my neck back and forth to triple check that not a soul is up and about to see me, a sixteen year old girl dressed in both pyjamas and jeans. Thankfully the street is deserted, just as I expected, and I disappear into the night without looking back.

I stumble only a few times along the street, the alcohol haze clearly not yet having melted away. By the time I reach the pier, my feet have slowed to a relaxed meander, making virtually no noise against the wooden slabs. I reach the last block of wood, having passed several closed carnival rides, cafés, and creepy arcade games all switched off and blanketed in dusk. The inky-black water stares back at me, jagged shards of reflected moonlight sparkling up at me. I lean over the edge and dip my right hand into the freezing water, feeling resistance as I drag my hand in mini circuits of eight. By the time it feels like every ounce of heat has been sucked out of my fingertips, I rock back onto my heels and close my eyes. The coldness seems to have steadied my mind a little, and I slowly unfurl my legs, pulling up the hood of my fluffy dressing gown. Time to get back home.

As I'm making my way back towards the road, I hear, first, and then see, a small silver car go racing past the end of the pier, rap music booming out of the windows. Probably some late party-goers from Charlie's house. Before long they're zooming off into the night, and I heave a sign of relief before crossing over the road and slipping into the shadows of the nearby shops. I pull out my phone, flicking on the screen, to see that it's almost 4am. Time to get back and get some sleep, before Zach comes stumbling around in the near future, in the process waking me up again. I'm just rounding the corner to go up towards our little cul de sac, when I almost smack head-first into someone flying round the corner.