My FtM story

My love life.

So I've had like two boyfriend's both were short and long distance which sucked (Also I'm pansexual).  So I'm kinda lonely as fuck which I'm not the kind guy to date a lot but I guess we're I'm trans I feel like no one will ever truly love me for me. Am I alone on this? Maybe. And I have a crush on my best friend but she doesn't feel the same or so she says. Because she acts like she licks me but whenever I "play along" she stops and I'm just wtf stop messing with my head!?! Do you like me or not? But whatever   I guess I'll just get over her, hopefully.