from the beginning

the silence

"arggggg" i moan as my alarm goes off and i look at my phone to see 12 missed calls and 18 texts from various different numbers including carson, lizzie, blake and gavin (king had sent me a morning message on his dad's phone) the kids would still be gone for about 2. 1/2. months which was killing me our daily FaceTimes where all that was holding me together.

the text read (morning mommy we miss you i hope have a good time on your trip, love king)

"shit" it was then i realised why i had so many missed calls, I'm supposed to be at the airport in half an hour me and blake were heading out to new york to do photos and things for advertising along with a few interviews here and there tomorrow we were going to be on the today show with carson that's why he was coming, lizzie was also coming to tag along she had to stop in michigan to see some friends who just had a baby

i jump out of bed and put on whatever i can find in my closet which ends up being son ripped boyfriend jeans with fishnets underneath a red cocacola shirt with a black bomber jacket, luckily i had pack my bags the night before. i brushed my teeth and got my bags and unplugged my charger and put it in my pocket along with my keys, phone and wallet etc. and ran out of my room to the kitchen to see what i could find in the way of food all i could find was a pop tart so it would have to do i walked out the house and locked the door jumped in my car getting my phone out to call carson my phone dialed as i put in the pin for the gates

"gwen where are you" carson said stressfully

"i have just left i will be there in 15, sorry i sleet in!"

"it's alright we booked a private plane so no rush"

"ok thanks, is lizzie there"

"yeah she just go hear do you want to talk to her?"

"na na i ill be good, be there soon"

"drive safe!"

"will do"

the phone hung up

..............

"ahh gwen you made it" carson yells as i give him and lizzie a hug i awkwardly grin at blake he returns the act

we hop on the pane

it's a long wait before we take off as they had to get our bags in the plane and fill up the tank

......

i wake up to lizzie rubbing my arm to tell me goodbye

we must be in Michigan

"bye gwen i will see you in about two weeks let me know if you need anything, keep in touch ,ok"

"will do lizzie have a good trip" i say as i yawn

..........

this time i wake up to carson telling me we have landed in new york, i jump out of my set and grab my carry on and get out of the plane as quick as i can to stretch

"alright your car is hear gwen, blake he will take you to your hotel, siri will come and get me in a minute i will see you guys in the morning on the show!"

"ok thanks carson" i say hoping in the car with blake now it's just the two of us i have to try act normal

.......

we get into the hotel blake stops at my door "gwen" he says

i turn and look at him

"i thought i was ok with this but I'm not your like coming up for fresh  air, you make me want to be a better man, i wish i knew how to quit you but i don't, what do you want? the moon? just say the word and i'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for you" he says quietly as he turned around to exit the room

"stay, can you just stay" i nervously whisper out