Insanity

Chapter 3

Annalie's P.O.V.

Michael Shires. Interesting boy, he doesn't seem afraid of me, yet.

I changed from the dress to the boring grey uniform. They looked like pajamas and the grey resembled that of the walls.

It feels like it's been ages since I've worn a dress, but I'm not really fond of it.

I got to wear a dress today because the head nurse, Mrs. Birch, wanted to celebrate. I am the first transfer patient that this floor has received in a year. Apparently that's something worth celebrating: another criminal is closer to becoming a normal human. Yay.

I can't help it if I'm messed up. Everyone misunderstood the 'crime' I committed. Yeah, I'm a murderer, but no one actually knows what really happened except me. If only people would listen.

Everyone thinks that I cold-heartedly murdered my sister and a witness. My reason? I was apparently jealous of my sister's popularity.

I loved my sister, Caroline, but honestly, she was a whore. She would have a new boyfriend every week. She was smart and kind, but all she probably wanted was to get in every guys' pants. I was quite embarrassed to be her sister, but I still loved her.

Her friends, though, weren't too fond of me, and the feeling was likewise. They would pick on me a bunch and sometimes make behave as their servant whenever Caroline wasn't around. I didn't tell Caroline because I didn't want her to worry and have her friendship with them ruined. I couldn't do that to her, even if I hated every one of her friends.

Caroline was a year older, fifteen, had amazing grades, a nice figure, friends, popularity, athletic. Everything I didn't have. She had straight A's, I had B's and A's. She had the body of a model, I was average. Friends and popularity? Don't have 'em. Athletic? Not really. I was perfectly fine with these things. Others thought of them as reasons reasons for killing her.

I never want to remember that night again. Four years ago. The night she was taken from me. The night she stopped breathing. I could still hear her helpless shrieks ring through my ears. I could still see the tears pouring from her eyes. The blood, oh God the blood.

I remember it all too well and it sickens me. I remember not being able to do a thing until after. I wasn't able to save her. I let her die. She's gone now and it's all my fault.

Everyone of her friends, relatives, neighbors, everyone that knew her hates me now. My parents are disgusted and ashamed to have me as their daughter. The daughter who committed a heinous crime at the age of fourteen. How could such a young girl do this? That's easy to answer: I didn't do it. Actually, I only did half of it.

No one was willing to hear my side of the story. No one was willing to listen and no one ever will because they're all afraid.

So that's it, huh? I'm sentenced to stay here until I'm stable again. Who knows how long that will be? I could have another episode and sent back to the south wing. I don't want to stay here anymore. It's hell on Earth. I hate this place.

All theses thoughts are just too much and pretty soon I was crying. Pathetic. If Caroline was here, she would stay strong and stick it out.

"Thinking about Caroline again?"

I jumped in fright and turned around. There, sitting on my bed was a girl with long, dark hair and dark eyes. She looked really familiar. An old friend maybe? She never told me her name. We've been cell mates ever since I came here. It was strange, I was the only one with a cell mate.

"Damn it! Why didn't you say anything when you came in?" I shouted. I didn't even hear the door open.

She shrugged in response. "Just answer my question."

I nodded. "Yes, I was thinking about her again."

She smirked. "Of course. No wonder you're crying like a baby. You know what thinking about Caroline will lead to."

"Yeah, yeah." I rolled my eyes.

"You're crying over someone who's already gone. Why?"

"I can't help it."

She shook her head. "You're such an embarrassment. Caroline would be really disappointed." I shook my head.

"No, that's not true," I said through the tears. No point in wiping them away since new ones would just surface.

"Oh but it is. You're nothing like her and never will be. You're a pathetic excuse of a human being. A waste of matter. You belong here. You deserve to rot in here for eternity."

"No!" I stood and hit my head multiple times to stop myself from hearing her voice. She kept repeating the same things. I banged my head against the wall. I punched the wall, anything to make it stop. I was whimpering and shouting out things people wouldn't understand. I closed my eyes tightly. I really looked insane.

"Go away!"

"Why?"

"I hate you! Leave me alone!"

"That's just a reason for me to stay."

"Who are you?!"

"No one."

I opened my eyes. She was gone. The only person in the cell was me. Where the hell did she go?

Even though her body was gone, I could still her voice. She was laughing at me. I'm tired of this shit. Why do I have to have her as my cell mate?! Why is she always my cell mate?!

My sadness became frustration and anger. I gripped the sheets of my bed and ripped them. I punched the wall and kicked it. I screamed. I was having a tantrum and it could lead to an episode.

I needed an anchor. I looked to my right and saw the mirror. I was breathing heavily as I stepped closer to it. My right hand formed a tight fist and I raised it. I closed my eyes and brought my hand down on the mirror as hard as I could. The glass shattered. For a moment I didn't feel anything, then the pain came. I opened my eyes and screamed. I clenched my right wrist with my left and looked at my hand. There were shards of glass sticking out from my knuckles and it was bleeding heavily. I whimpered and leaned against the wall next to the mirror. I slid down until I was sitting on the floor. The tears were pouring as fast as ever. Caroline and my hand. It was too much pain. I overdid it this time.

"Fucking wonderful," I snarled. I sat there crying and a small pool of blood forming around me. I need someone. I need help.