X and Y Axis

The Thorns of Regrets

A glass shattered from the outside, I opened the door.

"What was that?!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry ma'am." The girl apologized.

"You're sorry can never bring back what's broken." I covered my mouth. Well, I don't know why I said that.

She picked the glasses by her bare hands and she got pricked.

"Huwag mong piliting pulutin ang mga nabasag na piraso. Kapag pinagpilitan mo lang na ayusin 'yan, mas paulit-ulit ka lang masusugatan."

The girl stared blankly at me. I settled here in Amsterdam for almost 4 years by now and I am still used to Filipino language. I am still a Filipino anyway. My phone rang and my secretary called.

"Ma'am, it's already 9 AM and the boss said you just need to drop by at the coffee shop."

I glanced at watch, 9:00 AM sharp. My flight to the Philippines is also at the same time.

Tick tock tick tock. I have to decide now. Will I risk this day, again? If I choose to stay here in Amsterdam, I might not be able to see...him on time. If I ever go back there, would it be the same? I hate taking risks. I don't want pain. Who wants pain? No one. I don't know why I've been holding back something in my chest. Something is jailed in here that no one could ever truly free it but him.. I closed my eyes and made a deep sigh. That's it. I went downstairs and went straight in my car and sat in the front seat.

All I could hear was the loud honks. Man, it's traffic! People in Amsterdam are very certain in time, I'll be dead for sure.

"Let's go, Jon. Lou, please tell them I might be a bit late. It's traffic."

I know it's wrong to choose the other way around. I am afraid. I still am. I am still afraid to face him. No, I am still afraid of myself.

And then she left me. There are times that I want to go back to our chapter one. At the same time, I want to just leave it behind. It doesn't make sense at all.

"Your love? Your love is a trash, Ace. It is a love that will never be a recyclable material. It will never make me a whole."

It was a rainy birthday for me. 14th of April. From that day on, she left me. She chose to chase her dreams. I didn't ask her to choose between me and her future but she told me it isn't worthy to stay in a scrapyard like here. She dreamt high. She wanted to get wings. I let her go but it doesn't mean I will not find her. I love her. Did she ever love me back? That's whatt I want to ask from her. Whatever it is, it will complete the missing puzzle in my heart. I want her to see her happy even if it isn't from me. I will never be her "ace" but just a mere "joker" who doesn't make sense at all.

"Will you ever come back to me, Yara? Should I wait for you or I will fetch you like what I did before?"

How ironic, it's my birthday and the day that I died as well. And from the crying heaven, tears escaped. All of my articles and poems, were all dark. Horrifying. More bloody.

"I want to live in a bloody hell,

The monsters inside of me is rearing, very hungry

Your growl is all I need,

And your blood is what I want

Stay, be my Persephone."

On my way home, I was riding a motorcycle and then I saw a burning...car? I hurried up to see what happened and a man in the mid-50's growled in pain.

"Help!" The man yelled.

I went down the road and I figured it out.

"Are you okay, sir? Let me help you. Can you walk?" I looked at him but he stared back at me instead.

"Aceryl Smith." He called out my name. My jaw dropped when I heard him called my name.

"Hospital." I said to the tricycle driver. He was grasping for breath and I couldn't help him but to say...

"Hold on, sir. You can make it. The hospital is near by now. You need to fight for your family, sir. You still need to survive."

"I don't think... I... can still... make it. I have no...family at all." He held his chest. His body was bloody and injured. He pointed out the bag I was holding.

"Open my bag and ... sign it." He said.

I wanted to laugh by that time. He was about to die yet he could still manage to do business. I obeyed what he said. I opened his bag and I saw a document.

"Document of scholarship and..." I saw my name on the list.

"I've seen his potential in writing since he is the Editor-in-chief of my school, Nexus High for 3 years. I've seen how he managed his organization."

So, he is the owner of Nexus High? What a coincidence but how come...? I continued what I was reading.

"Since he is the most outstanding student of the said school, I recommend him to have a proper, formal and official training to mass communication particularly in Journalism."

Yara left the journalism club, hanging and so I went to handle it. It's true the pressure is on and I couldn't help but to think I should give up. In our school, being a journalist with an excellent job performance for our school paper, there is an extra income to sustain our financial needs.

Because of it, I was able to earn money for my mother's heart transplant. I told myself not to give up. Life is about hurdles, anyway. For the person who hurt me and left me, I thank her for everything. I have seen what truly love is. It is not just fighting but also giving up, giving space and giving happiness that I can never give because I belong to a low-class family. She left me because she wanted to get a life.

"And after a year, Mr. Smith will take over, my press. "

Signed by: Rodrigo Suarez, Owner of Axis Press .