13 Reasons Why ~ Alex Standall: Taped Over

Chapter 2 - Tape 1 Side A

17:00

"And if you're listening to this, you're one of the reasons why."

My First day

"Finally, we reached our new house. It was an understated townhouse, which I didn't think much about. All I can say is this - I need a new start. I need to be someone different; popular. Father never agreed with my choice of friends. They were always female.
  Saying that, none of them have spoken to me since I left. I was never really that popular with anyone. Maybe here that will change. Maybe.
    I step out of the car, allowing the fresh new breeze to run through my bleach-blonde hair. I could let go of the past. Maybe here I could be different. I could live life to the full.
   "Alex!" Father shouts, "Get over here and help your brother."
I look over at Peter, my older brother. He's already lifting boxes out of the moving van. Unfortunately, my brother won't be staying with us. He has already got his life worked out: living in Seattle, Washington with his "perfect" job as a cop; following in father's footsteps. No wonder he was father's "golden boy".
"Hey, bro. Came to help I presume."
"Sent to help," I reply. My brother chuckles.
"You're going to be alright here, yeah?" His eyes flash with momentary worry.
"Without you around to annoy me, yes," I joke.
"Alex! Hurry up with the boxes!" Father demands.
"Yes sir, sorry sir." I lift the heavy box through the garden and into my new house.
"C'mon son, act more like a man. God's sake, you're as weak as an injured puppy."
"It's heavy," I pant, dropping the box to the floor.
"Peter. Help you're brother out, will you,"
"No, I'm fine,"
"Then finish the job you started!" Father spits, his eyes seeping agitation and disappointment.

~~~~~~~

The voice of my late friend, Hannah, drags me back. Or is it down? I really don't know. Nevertheless, I do know this: I need to finish these tapes. As quickly as possible. Preventing father from finding out things that I'm not wanting to remember.

"The rules here are pretty simple, there are only two. Rule number one: you listen. Rule two: you pass it on."

I bite my lip, fighting back tears. This is going to be difficult. I know it.

"Hopefully neither one will be easy. It's not supposed to be easy, otherwise I would have emailed you an MP3."

I laugh. A mechanical, unsettling laugh.

"And when you're done listening to all thirteen sides - because there are thirteen sides to every story - then rewind the tapes, put them back in the box and pass them on."

Anger runs through my blood. What did I ever do to her? Why do I even have to go through with this?

"Oh... and the box of tapes should've included a map."

The map lies on the countertop discarded with the rest of the packaging.

"I'll be mentioning several spots over our beloved city,"

Throwing myself down the stairs, I rush into the kitchen, map in one hand and take it up to my room where the boombox and tapes lie.

"And I can't force to visit them, but if you'd like a little more insight follow the stars,"

I look down at the map. It's as if Hannah is here, reaching out, begging to be heard. Even still: I zone out. I can't hear. But I can feel a stabbing pain in my stomach. Just as I did a year ago. When Hannah was still alive. When my life was better. Not good necessarily, just, better. My ears open again: allowing Hannah's voice to dig up the deepest of my regrets.

"Do what I say. Not more, not less. You're being watched."

Watched. The words echo in my head. I can't go out. It's too much for me to bear. All I need to do is look at the map and imagine. Nothing else. No need to wander aimlessly around town like a lost dog. I'm listening, isn't that enough?
"No." my thoughts scream. "It is never enough. Never enough for someone as ungrateful as you. Never enough for someone who is at fault for a girl's death. Nothing is ever enough for that."

"Justin Foley, this one's for you."

Monets - One year ago

"So... why is my beloved friend in dire need of a hot chocolate?" A girl with dark brown hair and  coffee-coloured skin asks her friend, leaning over.
"Ugh, the rumours have only intensified after the photo Justin took was sent to half the school." The other girl replied.
"But... Are they true?"
"No they aren't! Seriously, we only kissed."
"Oh. Hannah, I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"Trust me, if karma doesn't hit him then I will."
"Thanks, Jess,"
Both the girls snort with laughter.

I stare at the expresso just placed in front of me. I had decided that I needed a break. And got out of father's way before I was sorry. Thank the lord Peter was covering for me. I know that right now I should be spending as much time as possible with him, then again, we were never that close. Yes, we would help each other out but it was father that tore us apart. Him being the good, athletic son and me being that "injured puppy". It hurt. A lot.

~~~~~~~

Reality snaps back before me... The tape cutting just as Hannah instructs:

"Turn the tape over for more..."