Hide My Love

Better

Once I approach my mothers house, I notice clothes scattered on the lawn and objects spread out with them. When I get closer, I notice they are mine, but torn up. I gather all the clothes together and throw it in my suitcase that now has dog shit smeared all over the front.

    "I see doll face came back for more," Mike winked as he plopped down the stairs and made his way over to me.

    "I'm not in the mood. Don't touch me," I state, as I continue picking up scattered items.

    "And why can't I?" He joked as he slid his arms around my waist.

    "Because- because -" I stammered

    "Because? See darling, you can't get enough of me."

I turned quickly and pushed him off of me. "If anything I can't get rid of you. You- you sociopathic idiot."

I zip up my suit case and begin to walk to the subway. However, half way through my trip, I realize that I don't have anywhere to go. I'm homeless and nobody wants to help a petty young girl.

I decide to sleep under a bridge, like the bum I will eventually become. It does become very uncomfortable when the wind blows and creates the cold chills that run down your spine. However, it's better than staying with people who hate or take advantage of me.

It doesn't feel like 5 minutes pass before I get a honk that startles my slumber. When I look up, I spot Alex standing outside of his car, holding open the passenger door. Without hesitation, I glide into the seat, neglecting my shit stained suitcase.

    "I'm sorry," he whispers as he makes a sharp U turn.

I don't respond, but instead watch the streetlights pass by as we travel east. After moments of silence, I notice we aren't in Chicago anymore. Nothing looks familiar and the roads lack streetlights.

    "Where are we going?" I ask, as I look behind me.

    "Don't worry about it," he calmly responds.

    "Alex. I have to worry about it, I don't have money, or anything actually."

He then points to the backseat, where I can make out two large suitcases and 3 carry ons. I'm shocked, but also in fear of what will happen to us both.

    "You don't need to worry about anything. You're safe. You don't need to worry about anything anymore. We are getting far away from there," Alex informs as he reaches out for my hand and gives it a small squeeze.

    "What about Bridget and Peter? What will happen to your reputation?"

    "There's no need to worry. I have it all under control. You just need to sleep, and in the morning we can get you into a motel to freshen up." He notifies before I fall asleep.

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    "So do you plan on telling me where we are?" I ask as we wait for our breakfast at Dennys.

    "Has anybody told you that you look phenomenal after showers," he chuckles as he sips some of his coffee.

I nudge him a little and laugh along. "C'mon, please tell me," I beg.

    "Look around and try to figure it out."

    "Pancakes and sausage?" The waiter asks before I raise I certify it's mine.

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Once we get back on the road, I start to understand where we are and where we might be going. It seems as if we are headed to New York, but I'm still not one hundred percent sure yet. Throughout the road trip, we tell stories of our childhood and the experiences we've come across.

I never brought up the abuse I had as a child or the amount of times I'd been raped because that was my past. And even though I struggled with pushing those memories aside, I continue to tell myself, it can only get better.

It has to get better.

But what if it doesn't? What if things only get worse from now on?

I suppose that's just a risk I have to take to try and find pure happiness. Not in somebody else, but in myself and my surroundings.

It will get better.