Tony could steadily feel his blood pressure rising.
This was not how he had planned for tonight to go, not by a long shot. Sitting here and now, Tony tried to think where it all went so wrong. Probably at the very start, right from the fucking start.
-
It started at lunch today, right when Tony walked into the lunch room and spotted Clay sitting by himself. The kid always ended up sitting by himself even with all the friends he had. Tony's pretty sure Clay doesn't know how many like him.
"Well," Tony said sitting across from him, "if you aren't a sight for sore eyes."
Clay glanced up from his lunch and chuckled, "You think you're pretty smooth don't you?"
Tony ran a hand through his hair and tossed a wink at Clay, who just rolled his eyes at the shorter boy, but Tony saw a slight flush rise up his neck, "I like to this I have a little charm."
Clay just shook his head and kept on picking at his chips, "I had a good time the other night. I know you didn't like the movie that much but I'm glad you came over."
Just then Skye sat herself down next to Clay, "What's this I hear about you having local bad boy Tony over? Clay, I never thought you would be one to bring the rebel home to mommy and daddy." Tony shook his head at her knowing there was no real bite behind her words. She was probably the only person, other than the two of them, that knew about...well.. the two of them.
"Fuck off, Skye. You're just jealous you didn't get to spend your Friday watching the extended remastered version of Star Wars," Tony jested with a light smile and nudging Clay's leg with his own under the table. Clay just huffed and rolled his eyes.
"Oh God please don't tell me that's how your dates are going?" Skye exclaimed.
"Well," Tony started with a small smile that Clay knew meant he thought he was being sly, "since you want to be so involved in what we are doing I was thinking about asking Clay to join me tonight for dinner at Micheal's."
Skye let out a low whistle, "That's a pretty fancy place, Tony. Think this idiot is worth it?" Skye started to get up, "Well, I have to go. The guys down at the woodshop are out on a trip so I get all their shit for a day."
With that tattooed girls as gone and Tony realized Clay hadn't said anything since Skye had arrived, "You okay?"
"You want to go on a date? With me? Like a real date?" Clay asked knitting his eyebrows together as if the concept of going on a date was too hard to comprehend.
"Well, yeah? I mean if you don't want to or if you think it's too soon we can wait and take it slower," Tony said reaching over and giving Clay's hand a quick squeeze before letting it go when he saw Clay quickly glance around, "Oh..."
Clay's eyes snapped back to his quickly, "Oh what?"
"You don't want people to know, do you?" Tony said trying not to let hurt seep into his voice. He understood, he really did. Clay was teased for a long time for being gay and was only recently coming to terms with being bisexual. He really did understand it.
"God! No!" Clay shouted and suddenly dozens of eyes were on them. Tony glanced around making everyone lower their eyes again, Clay lowered his voice before continuing, "I'm just, this is new. Everything is new. I'm terrified that something will happen like, like Hannah," Clay trailed off. Tony rolled the thought around but Clay started talking again before he could say anything, "I'm scared. I'm just scared about everything and I don't care if people know but I don't not care."
Tony stayed silent for a minute to make sure Clay didn't have anything else to say, "Clay, I'm not asking you to marry me or come out to everyone right here in the lunchroom. It's just a date, if you aren't comfortable with that yet I'm fine. Clay, I, I like you and we're doing this at your pace," Tony swallowed thickly, "I'm not Hannah. I'll be here." It's been a year since Hannah and sometimes she still makes it hard to breathe.
