Broken

Normality

The assembly had lived up to my expectations, the Principal had droned on and on about how important this year was and how it would shape the rest of our lives, he told us three times 'This year was your ONE chance at a future' each time he said it I could feel his eyes resting on me. So no pressure there then.

I was so relieved when I finally made it to the common room. I so needed to relax and collapse into the tatty, brown cord armchair in the far corner of the communal space. The thought of crashing into the furniture equivalent to a 'Sloppy Joe' had been a comfort to me for weeks. As I walked into the safe zone of the common room I could feel a layer of tension dissolve with each step. I set my sites on the vacant chair across the room and focused only on that, it wasn't until I slouched into the worn fabric I noticed there were other people in the room. It was still another couple of seconds before I registered the enveloping silence which had fallen and all the eyes peering at me. I looked from one set of eyes to another, some I recognised others were strangers to me but all held my gaze each looked intently at me, and none were embarrassed by their blatant staring.

"Okay, okay freak shows over, there's nothing to see here." Kelly's booming voice made me jump, "Go back to your boring, shitty lives" I noticed their eyes quickly diverting away from me, some looked to the floor, some to the windows and others hoped to catch the eye of their friends and pass on some telepathic communication.

"Ignore these pricks, to them you're the closest thing to a celebrity they'll ever know." Her voice still loud enough to be heard by everyone in the room

"Thanks Kelly" I whispered back

"No worries, now move your fat ass over so I can sit down." the happiest smile I think I've ever seen filled her face and I shuffled over so we both could fit into the huge chair.

"So how you doing babe? Ready for your ONE shot at the future?" her tone perfectly mimicked that of the Principal.

"I'm okay, I'm glad to be getting back to normal" I admitted.

"So, I haven't spoken to you in like forever, what happened?" And she leaned in closer to me.

"You know what happened, everyone knows what happened, my dad killed himself" there was no emotion in my voice; it felt like I was talking about a story I'd heard on the news. "But that's all I know" I wasn't lying.

Over the last three months the police had questioned my mum and I countless times looking for a clue to why he'd done it. They had confirmed he hadn't left a note, which apparently is unusual, so their conjecture was just that. They had no leads to go on, so far they'd found no financial irregularities or personal reasons which would explain why he had taken the terrible decision to end his own life.

"Oh come off it" Kelly's exasperation brought me out of my daydream.

"Kelly I don't know why he did it, the police still don't know why he did it." I tried to explicate but she held up her hand and cut me off.

"If you don't want to tell to me, I mean if you think you can't trust me you just have to say" she snapped and she dramatically started getting out of the chair. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to me.

"Honestly Kel, I've got no idea, I wish I did. The only thing I know is that the police aren't happy, they need to find a cause, no matter how tangible, that's why the investigation is still on going." She relaxed back into the chair next to me with huff, but at least she was finally satisfied with my lack of knowledge. For the first time since I'd known Kelly I could feel the awkwardness between us and I scrambled through my mind trying to think of something to say.

"So what's been going on with you?" I asked sincerely hoping she would take control of the conversation, allowing me to be little more than a passenger through her recount of the summer.