Saving Emily

03

My new found courage thrives

But it is trapped insideMy concious mindI got to test my luck and overcome thisAnd maybe if I try, I may succeed to failBut if I don't try, I will always fail to succeed and prevail

"She's going out to hit the town, I'll follow her and track her down," I sang with the song playing from my speakers while lying on bed on my back, holding up a book above my face.

Stare through the window there she isShe's intimidatingly perfectBut did my eyes deceive me?She was not alone

It was a Saturday and my phone suddenly rang. Blindly I searched for it with my other hand and answered the call without looking at the screen. "Hello?"

Such bravery. But I was damn sure that nobody would dare call me unless it's Noah or Dad.

"Hey, Millie," Noah greeted. That was the nickname he gave me, getting it from my first name, Emily. "That's an annoying sound you got there on your background. Anyway, you up for something?"

"Nah. Just got done with the homeworks. You?"

"I think I might want to do some bowling tonight. Are you with me?"

I hesitated. Going out. Did I want it? Sure I did. With all my heart. It seemed fun. But that was only a quarter of me speaking. Majority of my mind told me to stay at home because I would just mess things up when I go out. I always did. So the argument was logical. Should I come with Noah?

"Umm, Noah, I... I think I may not be up tod-"

"I won't accept no for an answer. Come on, Millie. Your best bud got your back no matter what. You can't spend the most beautiful part of your life inside your room."

"But I... I don't know. I just think I can't."

"Then think you can. Okay?" He didn't get any response from me and then I heard him sigh. "I'll pick you up at six. Alright? See ya," and the call was disconnected.

The clock on my bedside table read four minutes past five in the afternoon. I debated with myself if I should already be getting up on my ass then and start preparing before Noah came or just staying in bed for the rest of the day and just shut everyone out of my life.

But Noah would be upset with me. So I got up to start preparing for the night's event with my best friend.

Asking me out on weekend nights to go somewhere had been his hobby for the last five years since we got back together as best friends. We had been separated when we were kids, we're about seven at that time, as a result of my parents' divorce. When I came back to Ebony when I was 11, things between Noah and I got back to the way they used to.

I settled on a cotton grey sweatshirt, acid wash jeggings and a pair of black Authentic Vans. I knew it would be too cold outside because fall was starting to set in so I opted on bringing a beanie with me. When I decided I was ready to go, I looked at my reflection first in the mirror just beside the adjoining bathroom's door.

Did I look okay?

Maybe I was dressed up weird. Then people would go staring at me the whole night and I would get all anxious and ruin Noah's fun. I wouldn't want that happening. His happiness meant the world to me. Besides, I really had to fix myself. Would I really be okay?

Taking a deep sigh, I started to head out to the living room, whispering to myself along the way. "This is now or never, Emily."

I found Dad going to the kitchen from the living area to get a refill of his tea.