Two of a Kind | Grethan

VII

Ethan's mom was coming home tomorrow, and Ethan and Grayson spent their quality time with one another at Ethan's home the entire two weeks.

Grayson was still asleep on Ethan's shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around Ethan's torso. But Ethan, however, was wide awake.

Sleeping that night was harder than usual for Ethan. Why? Because he was contemplating telling Grayson the truth. About why Ethan's always been so distant and aggressive. Why he shuts himself out.

"Good morning, Ethan." Grayson's stuffy morning voice mumbled as he shifted himself into a more comfortable position and kissing Ethan on the cheek.

"Good morning." Ethan whispered to his pretty boy. He loved hearing his name come from Grayson's mouth just as much as Grayson loved saying it. "How'd you sleep?"

"Absolutely amazing, you?"

"Eh, it was okay." Ethan lied.

"You didn't sleep, did you?" Grayson asked, looking at Ethan's eyes, which were red and squinted from exhaustion. Ethan shook his head.

"I think it's time I finally tell you what you've been wanting to know." Ethan said, taking a deep and shaky breath. Grayson sat up, furrowing his brows slightly, and grabbing Ethan's hands.

"Yeah, of course. I'm here to listen." Grayson said softly, intently staring at Ethan's pale face.

"When I was younger, I didn't have many friends. I didn't resent people and socializing then, though. I loved making friends, even if it was a rare occasion for me. I just wasn't very approachable when I was younger. Once the inevitable happened, I was glad I was never approachable." Ethan paused. A large knot formed in his throat. He didn't want to continue his story. He knew it would shock Grayson. Maybe even make him think differently of Ethan. He took another shaky breath and squeezed Grayson's hand. "When I was around eight, my dad..." Ethan's throat was burning.

He didn't want to say it. Not one bit. But Grayson deserved to know.

"He became an extreme alcoholic after he got laid off from his job, and he used to beat me. It was only when he and I were alone in the house. One day, he was even more drunk than he had ever been, and he..." a pause in Ethan's story was made so that he could catch his breath.

"He raped me."

And for the first time in what seemed like his entire life, Ethan began to cry.

"The anger... that he had in his eyes. The empty black voids that were his eyes. He was relentless. He never even felt guilty. A week later, he died in a car accident from drunk driving. But me? I've had to live on with the pure guilt. He made me feel worthless. I never told anyone. Not even my mom or my sister. They never found out. I became a shut in. The things he did to me made me scared to ever show my face in the world. I know nobody ever figured out what had happened, but I knew. I knew it all. Every little detail. Everything he did to me. I have nightmares about it every night." by now, Ethan was sobbing.

"Ethan, don't continue. You're hurting yourself." Grayson whimpered, shedding a few tears of his own. "I could never imagine the pain you've been put through."

Ethan's cries broke Grayson's heart into millions of pieces. The headstrong and confident Ethan he knew was breaking down before his very eyes. He never would have thought that what Ethan went through was as bad as it really is.

"It's so hard to live with, Grayson." Ethan sobbed.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay." Grayson whispered, kissing Ethan's forehead repeatedly. Ethan enjoyed the pet name Grayson had given him. And honestly, he felt a lot better about telling someone his story. Especially to the one he cared most about.

Grayson made everything feel better.

They laid together for hours in silence, with the exception of Ethan's whimpers or sniffles, the only good thing about this situation was that they were together. Grayson would occasionally kiss his head or rub his back, trying in his best efforts to make him feel better.

He didn't want his baby upset, but he knew he couldn't help it. He couldn't turn back time and make his dad stop. And that hurt Grayson. He just wanted Ethan to be happy, but how could he possibly be happy with what happened to him?

"I'll order us some pineapple pizza and we can just cuddle. Does that sound good, baby?" Grayson whispered, sitting himself and Ethan up. Ethan nodded and cracked a small smile, looking Grayson in the eyes. Grayson stood up and kissed Ethan on the forehead before leaving the room.

"Goddamnit Grayson, why do you have to make me feel this way?" Ethan whispered to himself, wrapping his pillow around his head in frustration. Grayson calling Ethan baby made Ethan feel such overwhelming joy.

"The pizza is ordered and I'm back to keep you company." Grayson said as he walked back into Ethan's room. Ethan stood up and wrapped his arms around Grayson's waist and laying is head under his chin. Grayson began rubbing his back. "You're alright, baby. It's gonna be alright."

"I love you." Ethan whispered incoherently.

"Wait, what?" Grayson responded, keeping his chin on Ethan's soft, pillow-like hair.

"I love you." Ethan spoke up much clearer now.

"I love you, too, E." Grayson whispered with a small chuckle

This made Grayson happy to hear Ethan mutter those words.

"Words cannot express how sorry I am to have bugged you about this for so long. This was definitely something you needed to work up the courage to tell me. And I'm so happy that you shared this with me because now I can be here to comfort you and protect you. You're so brave." Grayson said calmly in Ethan's ear.

"Well would you look at that? Now I'm the crybaby." Ethan chuckled and wiped his eyes.

"You're not a crybaby, you're my baby." Grayson whispered and kissed the top of Ethan's head.