Why is this so difficult?
The thoughts..
Your mind going places that you don't want it to..
It's so horrid.
It's never ending,
Yet you want it to go.
You try and try to make it go away,
But it just doesn't work.
Your heart breaks,
You knees give out,
Your head is throbbing in pain.
Others don't get it,
Unless they feel this way too.
The pain,
The hurt.
I've become numb to it all.
It's become my life.
I've learnt how to deal with it all.
People will never know.
They don't know the pain in my soul.
The hurt in my heart.
No one will know the endless nights.
The crying that won't stop for hours,
Up all night to calm myself down.
I'm alone in this.
I always will be.
My only friend lives in the dark.
The smooth metal I find late at night.
I play with the blade,
Wondering if I'll regret it.
I always do.
So why do I continue to do it?
The crimson liquid running down my leg.
It's my addiction.
I can't stop.
Words carved on my thigh,
Scars which will never fade.
No one will know how much you must hate yourself,
To run a blade across your skin.
