Growing Independence

"what's going on"

There was five of us.. Kylie Kel Kyndall Ken and me Rachel. "She didn't know what to do", "She wasn't stable", "She wanted what's best for us", "She didn't want to do it" .. but she did. May 6th of the year I didn't know at the time, was the year and day that my mother killed herself. The only reason I even know it was May 6th, is because it was her birthday.

It happened so fast, I didn't know what even happened.. Maybe because I was 7 and just finishing kindergarten. We walked to my white aunts house that day, she wasn't even white, I think she got that name from the big loads of white packages that were always around her house. When we got there mama made us wait outside, she always said it was because there were big monsters in there that would eat our little tails up, and mama was right because there was always big scary looking men coming out of there with big bookbags & the white packages. Mama came out yelling at aunty about some money, they were scaring us and we all started crying, mama ran down the big building stairs and into the road. We went down the stairs to follow and before I could make it to the last two steps I heard a loud crash of cars. I ran up to my mom laying flat out on the ground, there was alot of blood around her, more blood than when I fall and scrape my knees on the playground, I know she was hurting because whenever I bleed it doesn't feel good and I cry, but she wasn't crying.. She wasn't moving at all, her eyes weren't even blinking. All I could do was cry, I didn't understand so I asked my aunt and everyone else just arriving to the scene, "what's going on?" and that's when my life began.