I've been pulled separate ways, I've been the experiment, I've been the mistake, I've been getting cheated on, I taught myself to be numb in till I met you. You taught me the good. How to not give up, how to smile even though I hated myself. You taught me how to forget. You were always there when I need you. But me realizing now did I even make you happy or smile. Was my feelings just a game?
Cause the tines I wanted to say I loved you was fucking astonshing. I wasn't even looking for anyone till I saw you and I new that you were the one doubted all the insecurities I had and everyone else around us. But how vaguely could one phone call break us. It just makes me think was I just a pawn to make yourself feel better. I should I feel now since I'm just a friend. What were all those days all those texts every little message I said I meant but did you mean yours. I ended up crying for three hours straight cause I wasn't sure if it was you or if was me. I told my friends I didnt want to lose you ever cause if I did I would probably have done something externally stupid. Just over losing you but easy for you we both walked away and are friends. But explain how I can lose these feelings. Seems like the worst things happen when it gets closer to my birthday. Now right now all I can say is I miss you... Even if I was and experiment a game or anything fucking else. I miss you.
