i dream of a perfect life

36%

(excerpts from) some of my favourite songs most haven't heard of
chapter 2

" when i think of home,
i think of small things that once held absolutely no significance to me.

i think of the big, blue-and-white house that i grew up in.

blue to keep the demons out, blue that covered the shutters that didn't work.

the house that we never would've been able to afford, if it wasn't for my grandparents who owned it.

our yard that was never green, and the grass we could never really grow.

i think about the way that it would never rain but when it did it would roll down our driveway and form pools in the sidewalk.

how when we first moved in i needed a stool in order to spit into the sink when i brushed my teeth.

a room with vents above my door, i would talk to at night- just in case there actually was a ghost living up there.

the break in the carpeted stairs that contained pictures of me and my mom and our dog that died just before we moved and how in the odd of time i would leave my window open just so i could hear the crunchy leaves roll down the street.

getting ready for school in the morning and hearing grandpas truck roll up in the driveway so he could walk me to my fifth grade class.

i was too embarrassed by sixth grade, and by seventh grade, he stayed in the car.

tuesdays and fridays i would spend at my grandparents house, it was always either chili or tortellini for dinner.

jumping in the pool for the first time all year and getting out because my ears hurt from the cold.

our pink kitchen, and the crooked tile floors i slipped on when i was dancing in the kitchen after being in the house alone for the first time.

the wasp-catcher, the hummingbird-feeder, and the chain-linked divider that separated the people side from the dog side.

roller-blading down the driveway, skateboarding down the driveway, trying to do a cartwheel down the driveway.

the way the wind felt, if you crawled out my window on to the roof, watching the cars go by.

sitting on the porch, and looking at the sky, there's nothing quite like a desert sunset. " - our house was blue, (jo)hanna