Only A Moonwalker Would Understand! (2)

I'm trying! :D

Listen. Florence Darlington Tech is taking up my time you guys! I've been offline for a while now and everytime I log in I'm being begged to update and inboxed and I'M TRYING YOU GUYS! I really am! But hey! You should know that right? Anyway! I just wrote my first college paper and to be honest, I'm proud of it, and my professor was nothing less than SHOOK. So here's the paper that I wrote, which I will soon turn into a story 

(I'm just that proud of it):

"Narrate & describe an experience or time that was emotionally overwhelming, Positive or negative"

"In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens." A disturbing quote, written by Judith Lewis Herman. Let's be real here. People ignoring sexual assault victims is probably something you've only heard of in those overly dramatic Lifetime movies that your family would gather around the television on Sunday evenings to watch. I never knew anyone that had experienced such an overwhelming and such gruesome event. I guess what my grandfather said was true; "You'll never really know what a person is going through unless you have experienced it first hand"

For starters, High school is usually depicted as a safe, positive environment in the media. But everyone knows that it's all for the show. But no one really knows how dangerous it really can be. And sadly, some people do know and chose to keep it away from the public eye. My junior year of high school, had a very close friend who was a male. He was one of the smartest, sweetest, most dependable seniors. Until one day, it all went wrong. During band class, as we watched a Janet Jackson's new music video, I noticed he got uncomfortably close to me. I would try to pull away, and he would grip me tighter by the arm every time. One thing leads to another, and ultimately, I was sexually assaulted. There were a few students in the room, but no one thought to help me. Maybe it was because of his undoubtedly magnificent talents, sports status or just because of his popularity? Maybe, they really didn't think anything was happening at that time?

Unfortunately, because of the pure hell that I witnessed in those fictional movies about the aftermath of sexual assault, I really was unsure how to cope after the fact. I shut down completely, and I didn't tell a soul about what had happened. That night, when I got home from school, I didn't eat. I couldn't sit still, either. Not only that, I couldn't clear my head. I felt so violated, so cheap, so filthy. So,I decided to try and forget. I found myself hiding my scratches by wearing long dresses and pants, and hid my bruises with foundation. I did this until one day, I reached my breaking point. Suicidal thoughts flooded my mind, and I was in the middle of composing a suicide letter to leave to my closest relatives. Alas, I gave in to my fears and told one of my closest friends about what had occurred. She instructed me on how to go about bringing this issue to light, and with all confidence, I finally did.

The next day, I decided not to wear the foundation to cover my bruises, and I wore shorts to expose my broken skin. Filled with hope, I marched into the cafeteria, where my band teacher sat unexpectedly A group of friends had come along with me to offer much-needed support. We sat down and after a few second of exchanged stares of confusion and awkward silence, I came clean. I told him everything that had happened I even showed him my injuries. To my surprise, he believed me. With a quickness, he ran to go get the assistant Principal, and I explained to her verbatim what had happened to me. She listened and sent me back to class after being sworn into secrecy. Confused and a little disappointed, I followed her directions.

A few class periods later, I was called into the Principal's office. Trembling with fear, I said a little prayer as I walked into her office. Her eyes pierced through my soul like one of the cupid's arrows into someone's heart on an animated children's film. I sat down and for the third time, that day, I told my story. She showed no emotion as I spoke, so it was really difficult to tell if she believed me, or if she was even listening to me! Upon finishing my story, she called for the guidance counselor to come in, so he could lead me through the process of filling out a complaint form while she stepped out. A few minutes later, she came back in, but she wasn't alone.

The amazing, intelligent, talented track star and my attacker were behind her. Judging by his intimidating stare, she had already informed him of my allegations and he was ready and willing to do anything to clear his name. Even if that meant sprinkling a little dirt on mine. I can still remember the exact words he said as he looked me directly in my eyes; "She's only doing this because I have a full-ride track scholarship and she has nothing." Tears of pain and disbelief fell from my eyes. I would never try to ruin something for anyone who has worked hard to get where they are! And such appalling allegations left me floored. He was given a chance to speak on what had happened, and unsurprisingly, the lies rolled off his tongue with a quickness. He said things like "She wanted it." and "She let me do it." He even went as far as to say that I was a "spoiled whore"! After beating me down with his words, I was escorted back to class so that he could write down his side of the story, just like I did.

The next morning, I walked in and people were looking at me differently. Some were looks of worry, and some were looks of pure hatred. I knew from that moment that it was out now. And I wasn't the one who spread it. I spent that entire day being called a "liar", "Stupid", "Whore", "Life ruiner" and some other things so painful, repeating them would tear me apart all over again. I did my best to ignore them, God knows I did. But with each comment, I felt like a bit of air was being sucked out of me. My confidence shattered and my faith was shaken a loose. Of course, some of my friends stood by my side the entire time, but pretty much half the campus was against me. I couldn't even eat lunch in the cafeteria because as I walked by a table of kids if they weren't shooting me icy stares, they were insulting me verbally.

After everything we went through; the "he say, she say", talking to police, and multiple meetings with the principal, he was finally arrested in the middle of his class. But, only for a little while. In fact, he was back on campus freely roaming by the fifth class period of the day! He was given a slap on the wrist for ruining my life. In all honesty, I got in trouble for speaking out. I wasn't allowed to speak to anyone about my case, and if we were going to the same class, I was made to sit in the office. As for my attacker, his scholarships weren't stripped, he was placed in my school's hall of fame, and whenever he would visit during my senior year, which was often, he would always find his way near me. Almost like he was taunting me. He was never made to even say a simple "I'm sorry."

All and all, it is impossible to truly understand the extent of sexual assault if you have not experienced it. It is nothing less than a horrific, life altering event, that some people tend to treat as a simple inconvenience. Not only that, I am a living witness that the male in these situations often walks free. I pray that one day, the people of higher power will stop overlooking sexual assault cases and start doing everything they can to aid each victim.