Survive This Life

Chapter 5

I hung up.

I felt my entire body collapse to the floor. My lungs, my heart, my brain, and every single vein.

I was hyperaware, yet not focusing on anything. And for the first time, I didn't cry.

But not in a victorious way.

In a way that earth has ripped my heart out, snipped every artery, and drained all of my blood, sweat, and tears into the ocean and I'll never get it back.

So that there was nothing left inside of me.

No sadness. No happiness. No anger.

Emptiness.

I wanted to die. I already felt dead anyway.

Lying on the floor. I couldn't tell if it was warm or cold, I could only tell it was floor.

The only thing keeping me up.

I continued to stare at the wall, then the ceiling, taking in every chiped paint and crack and stain and water dropplet.

I'm not tired. I'm not hungry. I'm not cold. I'm not sad. I'm just.....here.

I pile of flesh with no real purpose.

A sculpture meant to relive your pain and sorrow.

I guess that is a purpose.

I don't want that to be my purpose.

I want to stay silent for the remainder of my life.

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