Well heres a new update. I am suicidal its what my mom calls the s word. I dont like how my life has gone to. After finding out about my brain stuff i started cutting. Its gotten worse who i thought was my best friend is now not wanting to be that person. Its not fair but no one had ever said that life was gonna be fair. I trusted my friend but now she is ditching me and its for some one she dosent even know that much. I am spiraling into depression. Well at least more than i already was. The other day i thought about the s word. I really felt that it was the choice I had. It felt more necessary then ever and i didnt know if i was really going to do it. I am also being bullied about my condition. I dont wanna tell my mom because she will get mad at me. But i dont know what i am going to do. I barely have any friends and i am mostly being left alone. I cant really make friends i am failling school. The more that i get left behind the harder it is to run and catch up. Its like running to chase the bus you missed. Most of my friends have left me for dead. And the worse i get the more people hate me only because i get a little special treatment. I dont think alot of people like me. I kinda wanna do the s word now. But then i would be leaving behind my family.
For now i am not going to post for a while bye.
