Warning: selfharm, cutting, anddepression, mentalbreakdown, language UsUk Tweaked cause I'm a tweaker jk don't do drugs kidz.
~3rd person POV~
Matthew walked into his brother's house, whisper-yelling "Al!.... Alfred… Alfie are you home?" Alfred couldn't hear the quiet Canadian over his own thoughts screaming at him. Matthew walked through the house not seeing Alfred, he was about to leave when he heard a choked sob coming from the American's room. He peeked through the semi-open door and saw the thing no one has before, the thing no one expected. He saw Alfred sitting on the beanbag chair on the floor gripping a picture, tears running down both cheeks, face pale except the dark circles under his eyes. Matthew stood at the door shocked he came to plan his and Alfred's birthday party since they chose to do it on Matthew's birthday this year, surprisingly Alfred didn't mind he said it was only three days before his, and it was on a Saturday. Which in Matthew's mind was the weirdest thing to hear from his arrogant and loud brother that always had to be the center of attention, but Mattie still loved him.
~Matthews Pov~
"A-Alfred". Alfred jumped in the air when I walked in, causing the picture to fall to ground and allowing me to see that it was a picture of Arthur.
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Alfred flashed his signature smile at his me trying to persuade me into believing everything was ok. Bullcrap! I used to love his happy smile and how positive he is… but now I see it's all fake... "H-Hey bro what are you doing here", he tried to make his voice sound happy, but I could tell he was scared.
"Alfred what happened?", I asked in a soft but demanding voice.
"Dude I'm totally fine" LIES!
"Alfred don't fucking lie to me! Tell me what the hell is going on!" he really wants to lie when I just saw him crying.. I was so mad I cursed and yelled two things I never do.
Alfred moved past me to the door and said "Mattie we should go get McDonalds". Nope not happening I grabbed his wrist tightly to prevent him from leaving the room. To my surprise Alfred winced in pain. I stared at him confused. I didn't grab him that hard. Then I saw the tears forming in the American's eyes. I loosened my grip... please tell me… he doesn't… and turned over Alfred's arm gently to see blood leaking through his long sleeved shirt. Shit! I pulled Alfred's sleeve up and almost cried when I saw a huge amount of vertical and horizontal lines covering my brother's arm. Some were faded,some were scars, some were healing, and some were still bleeding. NO… I looked at this as a silent tear fell, realizing that the strong nation has been doing this for years. I moved my hand to his and led him to the bed. I sat down indian style and Alfred sat on the edge of the bed shoulders hunched eyes down, he was scared to look at my eyes.
I pushed Alfred's chin up forcing him to look at me in the eyes. "Al, why?", He looked away. I sighed holding back tears, trying to be strong for my brother. Why!? I'm so stupid how could I not know!? I'm the worst brother ever. Supposedly I'm the unnoticed one, but I didn't notice my brother doing this... "Alfred…. please… "
Alfred looked at me seeing that I was almost in tears. "I… I n-needed to feel the p-pain I caused him", his eyes went down to where the picture was on the floor.
"Alfred what are you talking about?" He's talking about England…
"Matthew I know… "
"Know wh-" Does he know about the hospital?..No he can't…
"I know about England. The hospital. Him trying to..."
"Oh" Maple he shouldn't have known!
"W-why didn't you tell me?"
"I-I", I didn't know what to say.
"I had to sneak in to see him… He was asleep for a month, he only said two things…. My name and why!" Oh Alfred…
Al… It isn't your f-" He cut me off
"SHUT UP! Matthew don't lie to me it's my fault all of it… I was selfish"
I was taken back Alfred never yelled at me like that, "You did it for your country, you didn't do it for yourself"I was shocked when he started to laugh, not his usual cheerful laugh, but a sad laugh, his voice hoarse from crying.
"NOT MY FAULT!"Alfred screamed. "not my fault…. If you believe that your a fool". I still didn't know what to say. So, I hugged Alfred and soon I felt him cry into my shoulder, I rubbed the his back in comforting circles and Alfred finally let it all out.
"I-I didn't want to be his brother anymore. I didn't love him like I love you Mattie. It was something more… I was 13 when I realized I was in love with him. But, I was just his brother, I knew he would never love me. So I asked France for help… he said that I should become independent and then share my feelings. But, Mattie that didn't work…. He just wanted me as a brother. He loved France… and I ruined that. You know it's funny the person I love the most hates me the most…", he said in a sad voice, with a twist of humor.
I just kept rubbing Alfred's back, and whispered soothing things into his ear. Ok… ok what do I say what do I do… I have to help him… but how… Alfred pushed himself off of me. "Matthew what do I do?" Think Matthew! Wait is that… Then I saw who had been standing at the door…
"Well, I think you kinda have to tell him now", I pushed Alfred's chin to the door so he saw Arthur standing there eyes wide open, tears rolling down both cheeks.
