Jacob Sartorius and a Candy Shop Lovestory

I'm Sorry In Advance

Jacob grabs my hand and pulls me out the door of his dressing room. We skip down the hall hand in hand until we reach the secret door leading to the outside of the venue. He opens the door and walks out first.

"Meninism, you know," he says to justify his actions. God I love a man with great values.

The door opens up onto a conveniently empty and romantic street with a bunch of again, very convenient, cute shops like the ones that people go to in those cliché movies and they try on hats and shit with their besties. Anyways, we walk down the street, Jacob standing on his tippy toes to put his arm around my shoulder, and try to find any open shop. I'm surprised all of them are closed. I check my watch and, oh shit it's 12:00. Wow. Time must really fly when you're in the presence of the one and only Jacob Sagitoris.

With each "aw, bae, look at that one," and "Oh, gosh diddly darn, that one is closed too," coming from Jacob I grow even more turned on. Something about that nasally voice, almost like the sound of teeth scraping together, really rustles my lady parts' jimmies in the sexiest way possible.

We walk to the end of the block and finally reach a shop called "Daddy's Delicious Delights," with several lights on. Clearly, the shop is open so Jacob walks in first, giving me the perfect opportunity to admire his whoopee-cushion-shaped ass. Jacob waltzes around the shop, while I stay by the window. I see the "open" sign hanging on the window and immediately have a thought. I stealthily moonwalk over to the sign and flip it so that the "closed" side is facing towards the street. This way, nobody will interrupt my perfect date with Rolf Jacob Sardines. I turn around and scout the place alongside my papi. The place is pretty rad. There is candy. Suddenly a familiar looking man in black slacks and accentuating off white pinstripes woah oh and a depressed expression walks out of the door with a sign stating "EMPLOYEES ONLY."

"Welcome to Daddy's Delicious Delights. I hope you enjoy our wide selection of candies and chocolates, all handmade by Daddy himself," The man says in a dead, monotonous voice.

"Thanks, homie. You're beautiful and you are worth it baby girl," Jacob responds to the man. The employee shoots him a strange look, then looks to me confusedly.

"Let's go look at the candy," I say to Jacob. We walk around the shop, passing by Hershey's™, Airheads™, and those lil gummy hamburgers. Oh my god those are orgasmic. They are literally the food of the gods and I would probs die for them. Anyways, we continue walking around, my thoughts still lingering on the gummies, until Jacob stops in front of the Twizzlers™. He stares at them passionately, and his gaze darkens. He obtains a glint in his eyes, as if he is planning something. He turns to me.

"We are getting these," he states intensely.

"Cool, how many, big papi?" I ask.

"All of them."

He grabs every single twizzler and goes to the cashier.

"I'll take all of these," I say for Jacob, as he's still a little nervous of talking to strangers.

"Great. Thank you for shopping at Daddy's Delicious Delights," the familiar man says dully. I look at his name tag. 'Sam Pepper' it reads. Huh. Never heard of him.

"Hey, you beautiful bastard, how much do I have to pay you to let me and my lady over here have the shop to ourselves for a bit?" Jacob asks boldly.

Sam stares him dead in the eyes and says, "Literally nothing I need to leave this hell hole." He marches out the door. What a weird guy.

Jacob turns to me. He has a look in his eyes, so deep, so full of emotion and want, that words can't even describe it.

"Do you trust me, babycakes?"

"Always."