Election [Laurinah]

Experimenting

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" Lauren stared at the girl who had just broken her heart. In fact, she felt like it was about to beat out of her chest with the anxiety that was writhing in the pit of her stomach. Lauren had sensed something was wrong with the way Dinah was kissing her today, hesitant and cautious, but had ignored it as Dinah often had doubts; being a girl who was very conscious of appearances.

"I...it doesn't feel right." Dinah sat up, pulling the sleeve of her flannel back up from where it had slipped down her shoulder. She kept her face turned away from Lauren, choosing instead to stare out the window at the fall leaves that hung prettily from the trees. She focused on their colours so she wouldn't have to look at the sad green that she knew was searching her body language right now for answers. Lauren slowly sat up too, hovering behind Dinah and pulling nervously at her pink lip. Crawling to be directly behind the other girl's back, she lifted her hands, hesitating for a second before placing them, feather light, on Dinah's shoulders. For a split second Dinah relaxed under her familiar touch, but as soon as Lauren uttered a soft "Dinah.." she pulled away, hunching her shoulders over defensively.

"What's wrong with you!" Lauren huffed, sliding off the bed to stand in front of Dinah, also taking a defensive stance with her arms crossed. "Would you look at me goddamnit!" Dinah's fiery eyes finally flickered up to meet her own frustrated ones, and Lauren saw it. Shame.

Dinah was ashamed of what they were doing, and no longer was it an emotion that lingered occasionally. No, it took over her whole expression, clouding her eyes and pulling at her face until her brow was furrowed and her plump lips were set in a thin line. Lauren felt her stomach drop.

"I can't do this anymore, Lauren." Dinah stood up too. "I won't. You can't make me." Her voice appeared firm, but Lauren detected a slight wobble.

"Make you?" Lauren scoffed, throwing her hands up in disbelief. "There certainly wasn't any making going on yesterday when you were eating me out in the girl's toil-" Dinah cut Lauren off with a tight hand across her mouth. The force of it actually caused Lauren to stumble back several steps until her back hit the wall painfully, Dinah's long hand still pressed firmly against her lips.

"Shut up." Dinah's eyes were wide and furious, with a hint of panic. "Your mom might hear you!" Lauren licked at her hand aggressively but Dinah stayed put, breathing heavily, clearly afraid Lauren might shout something else. She was unpredictable when she was angry.

"You can't go spilling our dirty secrets! Do you know how mocked we would be if people found out? I can't afford to drop in the social ladder like that! I'd probably be kicked off the team..and...and..." Dinah was babbling as she worked herself up. Furious at how self-absorbed she was being, Lauren bit hard into her fingers.

"OUCH!" Dinah shrieked. "You bitch!" She shook her hand back and forth, and for a second Lauren was sure she was gonna slap her.

"No, you bitch! The whole fucking world doesn't revolve around you, you ass!" Lauren pulled angrily at the sleeves of the dark red top she was wearing. "And for your information, I'm not a dirty little secret." She growled. At that Dinah narrowed her eyes meanly and took a step forward, bitten hand momentarily forgotten.

"Actually babe, you are." She sneered. "Every touch, every kiss, every fuck, was a dirty secret that I intend to tell nobody. Unlike you, I'm no dyke." The last word was spoken in a hissing whisper. Lauren swallowed and blinked several times, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay that threatened to bubble out. She turned away. Dinah kept her stance firm, unmoving. There was silence for a moment. Lauren took a deep breath, feeling claustrophobic in the tense room. Then she turned back around.

"If I'm a dyke, you're a dyke. It takes two to tango babe." She smiled sarcastically.

This time Dinah did slap her, eyes wild.

Grasping at her burning cheek, Lauren was about to hit her back when there was an rapid knock on her door and her twin brother, Chris, burst in.

Over six foot with broad shoulders, dark hair, puppy-like brown eyes and a knack for football, Chris was a lighthearted, approachable and popular guy. Unlike Lauren, he was friendly and open to everyone, and knew what he wanted in life: a sports scholarship in football to get into college. He was the quarterback of the school team, and a talented one, that is, until recently. During their family skiing holiday at the end of the summer he had taken a dramatic fall and broken his leg, leaving him unable to play at least for several months. Chris had taken the fall hard, both literally and figuratively, as football was his life. He'd been aimless and down for the past 6 weeks, hobbling around with a desolate expression on his face- until this moment. Right now, he looked buzzing with energy, shifting his weight from normal leg to casted leg excitedly.

"Yo Lauren! You'll never guess what happened today right-oh hey Dinah- so Mr Bankhead called me into his classroom and he was like.." Chris was waving his hands around manically as he recounted his story, but Lauren cut him off abruptly. "Chris! Not now okay?" She turned to look angrily at Dinah, only to find that she was crouched over gathering her jacket and bag together.

"No but listen! He said that he'd noticed I'd been feeling down right? And then he said he had an idea.."

"CHRIS! Shut up!" Dinah was now barging past Chris and out of the bedroom, and Lauren could hear her taking the stairs two at a time. She attempted to follow, rushing past Chris only to be tugged back by his hand around her arm. "What's going on?" Chris asked confusedly.

"Chris," Lauren growled, "Let go or God help me I'll cut your fucking balls off." Chris stepped back, hands raised in surrender, and Lauren didn't spare a second before hurtling down the stairs at a hundred miles an hour. She ran out the front door that had been left wide open, skidding to a stop by Dinah's car window just as she was about to pull away.

"Open up!" She yelled, banging on the dirty window. She could see Dinah's eyes nervously flitting toward the road as she decided whether or not to just drive off. However, she let go of the handbrake and slowly rolled the window down. "What?" She spoke hoarsely. All the anger seemed to have disappeared from her body as she took in Lauren's red check and frantic state.

"Don't go." Lauren pleaded. "I...I still want you. So badly." Lauren was panicking by this point because Dinah's whole body screamed escape. She kept glancing toward the road and back.

"Lauren," Dinah gulped. "It wasn't, this isn't-" She sighed. "We were just experimenting. This wasn't serious or anything." She looked down and pulled at a loose thread of her car seat.

Lauren couldn't control the tears that ran down her face now. "But, no! I-" She choked.

"I gotta go." Dinah cut her off, her own voice sounding unsteady now, and her eyes glistening. "By Lauren." She whispered, before pulling out of the drive and leaving Lauren behind, a mess.

Dinah drove for two minutes before she had to pull over, gasping, as tears ran down her face. She sat hunched over the steering wheel sobbing for 15 minutes before she finally gained the will to drive home and not turn back.