Desolation Tragedy

Drip drop

I can hear the sound of the water dripping in. The tree creaked and leaned until finally, hours of storm clouds and tumult caused it come crushing down on us. And now we have a shattered roof. It's the shards which allow for the water to trickle down to the tip, to cruise across the gap between glass point to wooden floor. And that gap just happens to hold us hostage in between.
Teddie can feel the water, cool on her skin, light to the touch, crash on to her. It lands on her bare arm. She refuses to pull her sleeve down, regardless of the bumps on her skin, the upright hairs, raring to go.
"Teddie, please pull down your sleeve, this is ridiculous, you'll get hypothermia!" She doesn't acknowledge me. Carries on sitting on top of me, waiting for something it looks like. But what?
"L, how did you know?" Excuse me?
"What?" She moves away from me. Instead of her sitting in my lap, she now looks down on me, one hand on the couch beside me, the other in her thigh. She does that when she gets scared. Worriedly, she does what i anticipate her to normally do, lift her other leg to completely cover her hand between her thigh and underside of her other thigh. She can't make eye contact with me.
"How did you know you liked girls?" Oh. That question. Always the awkward question to answer. Because of how awkward homosexuality made people feel.
...
There's a camping trip school decided to take the grade one. It's grade 9 and April. Everyone is organised into teams. I was in group 13 and it was the group which made the experience something to remember. Not only because the girl who made me question was in that group. But because of the bonds. We became so close as a group. We could be crazy around each other. Every one of us were such good friends with all of the others. And that feeling of being wanted was the best feeling anyone could experience after feeling as though your own friends didn't want you.
For a while, my closest friends, who had mocked Teddie for potentially being gay, seemed too popular for their own good. The drama caused between them and the friends they had made last academic year was making them doubt anyone could stay friends with them for long. Those friends from last year are a distant memory. At least they have each other. Those two 'friends' of yours. Teddie fits in perfectly with them. The balance. The less crazy one who they can talk to but also be crazy with. And me, the one they can't talk to. If they spoke to me, it would be to talk about school work, about anything normal which didn't require having fun. I'm not fun. And that's the problem. That's why I felt I was loosing the closest friends I had. And that's why I felt so attached to her.
"Group 13, what are you doing?" Her catchphrase. Her shining blonde hair and twinkling eyes called at us from 80 metres ahead. It was those times when other members would be pissed at her, just like she was pissed at us. Within that group, everyone could tell I was her closest friend. 6 of us grouped in to 3 pairs of 'bffs'. Because for a whole weekend, we were all each other had as we navigated the path ways around the country, smelling each others sweat, sharing the same tent, eating the same meals from the same cooker, laughing together as well as shouting at each other. We were strained but at least we got on in the end. And realised that actually, regardless of the fact we got lost so badly that everyone knew and laughed at us, we made a pretty good group.
It must have been during the second day of walking. The Saturday. I managed to catch up to her. Shiny hair, twinkly eyes, right at the front of the group. Whilst the others were already getting tired, I found strength to go and talk to her. I might as well. She seems lonely, even though the rest of us were bonding. She deserves in on that, after all, I knew what being a spectator was like all too well.
"Hey Mags, why don't you slow down and walk with us a while?" She didn't look impressed at me. For whatever reason I still don't know.
"If you don't all hurry up, we'll never get to camp before dark."
"Yeah we will, you know it!"
I was wrong. We got so lost. So far away from camp and it was dark. And the worst part was how we could have prevented it.
"Maggie, get back here!" We all shouted at her when she was too far away from us that we couldn't even see her. She was so pissed, so frustrated. Her physical fitness was impeccable. The body of a goddess. It was gorgeous and strong at the same time. Walking behind her, watching her walk makes you realise. And that's how I knew I was thinking about her in a physical way. She looked so perfect. And at nights, the light reflected off her hair and eyes and that's how I realised of all the people at the school, I was falling for her.
I definitely was then, but things have changed.
...
"Wow." Teddie just about mutters when I tell her about that camping trip and Maggie. I don't think anyone would have thought it and I've never told anyone before.
There's a howling outside. The wind against the trees, as if it's pained every time a connection is felt between itself and a sturdy figure of a tree or the boat.
"I never thought I could like Maggie. I don't anymore. I like someone else I think." Teddie turns to face me. We sit opposite each other. Crossed legged on the couches. Me, gazing out the window in nostalgia and Teddie, staring at me in awe.
"Who?" I couldn't tell her that.
"Well, I don't know for sure, I only started thinking about her like that a little while ago. I still don't know how to feel about her." Teddie sits upright and fidgets with her hands. She wants to say something. "What are you thinking?" She just looks at me, sort of worried I think. A gaping mouth, clearly wishing to speak. But arched eyebrows indicate to me how feared she is to speak. So she remains silent and looks at the water, drip from the ceiling. The rain eased up a little. But I can still feel its blue. This moment is too good. The memories of nostalgia rush back and the sensation of how happy I was in that time frame, back before I knew for sure I was suffering from the emotion of unrequited love, fills me. I want to go back.
...
Pitching a 6 man tent is hard enough when all members are there to help pitch it, I mean, we all shout at each other and after a long day of walking around, already mad at each other, what would you expect 6 people to do when they pitch a tent that night? Argue? That's right. Especially when we got so terribly lost. But that night, we were all fed up. We simply were too tired and could not be asked to do anything or talk to anyone. Not even our friends in the other groups at the camp. Most of us simply laid there, didn't even unstrap their bags from their backs, and basked in the evening chill, drifting into a sleep. How annoying that was. But I only thought that recently, at the time, I loved the image. Seeing how calm we all were but how urgent the situation really was. I had to pitch the tent single handedly. Until Maggie decided to join me. She's like a natural leader. Told me what to do and I told her what to do. We worked well together. Honestly I adored that moment. As the rest of the group surveyed us, they were motivated to get out the cooker and cook. I was filled with pride. My group was so good at functioning together. It was truly marvellous. We always came together at the end of a day. Always. And that's the power of teams. Not necessarily friendships but team work get us everywhere. And anywhere.
...
Teddie stands above me. I can feel her shadow's coolness overcome me. I was already cold enough from the broken window, the rain seeping in, and the worry that there's nothing we can do to help our situation.
"Lena, what are we going to do?" Obviously we should move, go to the nearest safe haven. But neither of us actually know where that is. And I'm really quite content with being here in this moment. The atmosphere feels warm and inviting and who could willing leave that?
"Lets pack some things up and go to the nearest dry place we can. Even if it means knocking on a door."
"How embarrassing it's going to be," Teddie looks so embarrassed by the idea of asking strangers for the refuge of their homes. "Asking strangers if we can come in. So awkward." I smile at her, she knows what I'm going to say because she looks at me in return.
"Well that's why you're lucky to have me here, I'm the most awkward person you know!" She laughs a little at the delight of our bonding over the fact we were both awkward when we met. I smile, remember the first conversion we had after we were firmly friends, the first conversation about how awkward we felt when I made eye contact with her back in grade 7. "Do you remember the 'awkward' conversation we had?" I commend myself on the pun as she rolls her eyes and begins to salvage what she can.
"Yes, Tiana started the conversation. About how we all met. And Shara was laughing at how they both bonded over being Asian. And then she told us how she didn't realise I was on her school bus."
"I remember that. You were my friend until that holiday, and all of a sudden she was beckoning you to work with her in class. I realised it was because you were bus buddies." It hurt me, feeling like I lost her back then. I'm so thankful to have her back. Without her, I would have suffocated under the weight of all the new friends who have joined the group and left. I can't bare it sometimes. And neither can Teddie. It's a relief how we still have a strong bond.
"And then Shar asked us how we were friends before. Asked me why I was friends with a weirdo like you." She smirks at the but I can see in her eyes it hurts her to say. Saying I'm weird? I don't know why she's hurt by saying that line. We joke about it between us often.
"And I told them about our first conversation. About that computer." We laugh heartily. Looking into each others eyes and hearts. And now it strikes me that this bond has stayed the same since we met. It's eternal.