Sunken Lies~

I am in this state of condition where I feel that my world crumbles and falls. Walking in this same old road where I had stumbled a few times. Walking even though my feet hurts from running. Even if I don't see the path clearly because of my tears rapidly blurring my sight, I could tell where I would go. I am closer to where we first met.

"Hi," he said. Wasn't that your first word to me?

"Can't you see it's sparkling?" saying with a wide smile pointing to the ground. The stone road seems to look dull now even though back then you said it was sparkling.

I continue to proceed though I know it would only be me there.

"I like your smile, it's bright," you said. How could I smile? If the one who makes me smile doesn't notice that he was the one who was making it the brightest?

"The sky always seems to be smiling when I'm with you," you said while we walk hand in hand.
Is it me or just anyone?

"I couldn't dream with just anyone! I am and always will be yours! So please don't say that!" you said that when we first fought. Can you still say that to me now?

"The grass now may look drier but my feelings for you will never change," You said while we walked on this grass path to our special place. I know that but why? Why did you have to lie? I think the grass still looks the same to me.

The nostalgic presence of this path to where I found you still affects me a lot until now. More tears came running from my eyes and I couldn't help it because I know it just lies ahead.

"Look! Look! See how beautiful this is?" you excitingly said.

You were so happy to finish that sign where our interchanged names were written. I stared at the sign. I wish I could have been happy seeing that finished. Instead I...

"It looks terrible," I laughed at you while you pouted and started to become disappointed at my reaction

I walked in our once loved garden, now overrun by many vines and weeds.

"Fruits will be as sweet as you!! That's why I will take good care of these plants until they grow," you said while watering the trees and plants.
If the fruits were growing now, wouldn't it taste bitter?

I walked to our bench were we would always sit and chat.

"Isn't the garden nice? When I grow up with you, I want to make a garden like this," you said while you sat down at the bench. I was startled so I dropped the watering can. This was the time you confessed.
"W-what d-do you mean?" I asked with a shaken voice. We stayed silent for a minute and just stared at each other. By that time, I thought you were joking so I turned around and was ready to pick up the watering can when you suddenly grabbed my shoulders. "I...umm... I-I l-like yo-ou" you stumbled on words but still your eyes are stuck staring into mine. I couldn't find the strength to say something so my body showed my feelings. I hugged you for the very first time.

I wish I said 'I like you, too' that day.

I sat on the bench that was dusty and old.

"I am going to America," you said sitting beside me. "My parents want me to study there but I don't want to because I know I will be separated to you," you said while you play with your hands. I stayed silent for a while. "I'm sorry," you said as you leave me there.

I wish I could've said something.

The promise you made was broken isn't it?

"Please don't cry! I will be alright! Don't worry because nothing bad will happen to me. I will always be by your side. I promise that!" you said that while we were gazing at the stars after the festival.

I thought that you wouldn't break any promises! You said that! You PROMISED THAT NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU BUT...

' I will board the plane now. Please take care of yourself while I'm gone. I'll be back, promise! And never forget that I love you' the last text you sent to me.

The day after your flight, the television brought me regrets, regrets that I will carry for the rest of my life. The television was open and the news reported that a plane crash, your plane crash.

WHY?
Why did you lie?
You lied to me about something didn't you?

"Dianne..." you whisper.

As I was remembering your voice calling my name, the wind blows. The breeze is as gentle as you. It was warm though the sun is about to set.

"I would never lie and break a promise but promises that were made to hurt you will be broken," you said as we watched the sun set.

I turned around to see the arc of the gate which had our washed out sign basked in the sunlight of the setting sun.

You promise that you would never leave me
You promise that you will be back
You promise that nothing will ever happen to you
Your promises that you said will never be broken had been broken.

Because how can you keep them when you sunk like the sun at the bottom of the sea? When you are no longer here?

But thank you because I should've known that it would be broken because those promises were meant to be broken. It was hurting me because I was in love with your best friend.

I like you for you are a friend. I ran because I saw your best friend crying because of your death. I hugged you because I want to comfort you for you're not the one I love.

Thank you for all the days you spent with me even though those days were just hallucinations of your stories. The stories that you would always make me read while we do gardening for our school.

In the end, I was the one who lied and my heart was the one who sunk because I who fell in love with you when you were gone, regrets taking days like that for granted.