I'm back. - Merthur

Chapter One

I struggle to hold Arthur up, determined to get him to the lake of Avalon before time runs out.

"I'm not going to lose you," I say, heart pounding against my chest.

"Just... just hold me," he murmurs, placing a hand over my own. "Please."

I breathe hard, my mind swirling with thoughts as I give in, lying on the ground with Arthur still in my arms.

"There's... there's something I want to say," he starts.

"You're not going to say goodbye," I shake my head, panicking.

"No," he responds, looking up at me. "Merlin... Everything you've done, I know now. For me. For Camelot."

I feel as if we're the only two people in the world, lying here.

"For the kingdom you helped me build," he continues, eyes flashing with emotion.

I shake my head. "You'd have done it without me,"

He scoffs. "Maybe," his face suddenly creases in pain, his eyes rolling slightly back. "I want to say... something I've never said to you before,"

My heart beat quickens, so much that I'm sure it'll beat out of my chest.

"What?" my voice is barely a whisper.

"Thank you," he smiles weakly at me, putting a hand on the back of my head. Slowly, the light dies out from his eyes as they roll back into his head, eyelids closing halfway.

"Arthur," I murmur in panic. "No, Arthur. Arthur!" I place my hand on his cheek, my heart sinking.

"Arthur!" I yell, causing his eyes to open suddenly. I'm filled with a short-lived relief and smile slightly. "Stay with me,"

His eyes close again. "Arthur, no."

I attempt to lift him up, not taking my eyes off of his pale, frozen face. My face twists with emotion as I realize that it's happened. He's gone. Arthur's dead.

I have failed.

I awaken suddenly, heart beating fast and my forehead moist with sweat. I look around franticly, coming to my senses. I focus my vision on the window by my bed and slowly the world seems to come back to me.

My spirits lift as I hear someone walk noisily towards my door. It must be Arthur, yelling at me about my tardiness once again. It was just a dream, like it always is.

"Merlin?" he knocks before walking in, revealing not Arthur, but Gaius.

"Where's Arthur?" I ask in confusion. My old friend's face darkens and he walks over to me, sitting on the edge of my bed. "Merlin... You know Arthur is dead."

I shake my head slowly. "No, that was just a dream- a nightmare."

"I'm afraid it wasn't," he replies softly, giving me a pitied look.

After a few moments of confusion, I realize that he's telling the truth. The king- my king- died in my arms.

Suddenly, I start crying and Gaius holds me tightly, making me notice how old he's gotten. "How long has it been?" I choke out.

"Three years," this only makes me cry even more.

Three years without Arthur. Three years without my best friend- more than just a friend, actually. Three years without my boyfriend.

Three years of hell.

I sigh as I walk past the ruins of Camelot. I stare at the section that once held Arthur's chambers many years ago. I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to block out the memories of the night Camelot fell; how I had one chance to save them all and I blew it. Out of fear, I didn't save Arthur's home. He was right. I am a coward. A big enough coward to allow the whole kingdom of Camelot to fall, leaving behind thousands of citizens dead.

I force myself to walk past the run down kingdom. Don't think about Gaius, don't think about Gaius...

I remember calling the dragon to fly us away from the fight that would befall Camelot, but Gaius refused to come with. He smiled and told me it was his time and I would go on without him. He didn't even give me enough time for a goodbye, waving off the dragon before I could protest.

I watched from a distance as Gaius treated dying patients until an enemy approached with a sharp sword. The physician stood up, holding his head high and proud. I whimpered, unable to watch as the sword met Gaius' throat. When I looked back again, everything was too small to see from the distance I was.

Why did I ruin everything? I could have saved Arthur, Camelot, Gaius. Everything is my fault.

"Arthur?" I whisper through my tears as I clutch the beer bottle, standing in front of the lake of Avalon. "I can't do this much longer without you. Please come back."

The only response is the constant current of the lake, water washing over beautiful sand and shells.

"It's been 786 years today," I mutter as I sit down on the rocks before taking a swig from my beer. "The world's changed a lot since you were here. I wish I could show it all to you." I pause before adding, "I've lost hope, Arthur. I don't know if I believe you're going to come back. Ever."

I walk past the road, only busy with a few trucks and cars speeding by. I never had an interest in them, they only seemed harmful and unnatural. I prefer to walk, like Arthur and I did on our occasional hunting trips.

I sit on the rocks where I've sat a million times before, this time holding a book in my hands. "Arthur," I smile as I open my book to the page in which I'd left off. "I'd be happy to see you again soon. 1276 years without you has caused me to forget the color of your eyes, the sound of your voice..." I trail off, staring into the deep blue waters of the lake. "Come home soon. It's lonely without you."

"Quit with the sappy stuff, Merlin," I hear a voice behind me and freeze, my world in a sudden slow motion. I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head.

"You're not real," I say, voice breaking.

"Merlin," his voice is softer now, as if with pity. I hear him come closer. "I'm here. I'm real. I'm next to you."

I slowly turn my head to see him sitting next to me. I hold my breath and my face twists with confusion as I tilt my head to the side slightly.

"This isn't... You can't be," I say, my voice barely a whisper.

Suddenly, his arms are on my shoulders and he's looking into my eyes, smiling. "I'm right here. You don't have to be alone anymore."

I stare at him for a few minutes, coming to my senses. Arthur is back. He's really back.

I study his face, taking it all in. Before I know what's happening, I'm being engulfed in a hug from him, in which I realize that I'm crying. "Shh, it's alright. I'm here now," Arthur murmurs softly as I cry into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you," he runs his hands through my hair as I clutch him tightly. "It'll never happen again. I promise."

I don't respond, mostly because I can't- I'm crying so hard I can't talk.

My king is back. After so long, he's finally back. All these weeks, months, years of waiting and hoping and praying.

Every second was worth it.